Apr 30, 2011

If It Quacks Like a Duck

Clay Jones, 4/28/11:
Trump isn't just flirting with running for President -- he's casting about in all directions, looking for any stable work that will pay. Perhaps all of those bankruptcies are finally catching up with him?

We can only hope.

The Fog of War

R.J. Matson, 4/28/11:
You know, most warring countries, in most eras, would have just killed guys like these on general principles. (And several dozen -- or thousand -- more.) Not saying that's a good thing, but civilized modernity does come with its share of new, complicated headaches.

It does make you wonder, though, on those late, dark nights, if the "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out" crowd are really serious, and what that would actually mean.

Apr 29, 2011

Spelling It Out

Joe Heller, 4/28/11:
Note that this cartoon made it into yesterday's paper, while this much more cutting (and accurate) Matt Bors strip from a few months ago was left to live only on the Internet:
Bors knows why the looney right really doesn't like Obama, and notes how it's eating them up not to be able to say it out loud.

Toothless

Roger Harvell, 4/28/11:
Obama's long-form birth certificate, itself, is a bloody, possibly infected tooth that has just been extracted from...the diseased mouth of the medical records department of the state of Hawaii?

I have the feeling that this is one of those days full of metaphors that don't make any sense.

Use the 12 Revolutions or Less Aisle

Signe Wilkinson, 4/28/11:
Those poor Arab nations are unable to get any weaponry to use to depose their evil dictators, because the US has bought up all of those weapons...to depose its own evil dictator? Or is the US going to oust all of their dictators for them? (And, if so, why does Syria look so sad?)

I'm not 100% certain this cartoon actually makes sense, to get right down to it....

Apr 28, 2011

Uneasy Lies the Head

John Cole, 4/27/11:
Awww! Poor widdle pwince! It's so, so hard to be the scion of an anachronistically aristocratic -- and filthy rich -- family in the modern world.

You know, England has a little history of dealing with Kings that cause too much trouble, Billy...remember January 30, 1649?

No One Rides for Free

Terry Wise, 4/27/11:
The first hybrid minivan to come to the US -- they've had them elsewhere, where gas is more expensive, for some time -- will probably be from Toyota, and estimates are that it will sell for around $27,000.

Toyota's current base minivan, the Sienna, starts at $24,260 and ranges up to nearly $40,000.

So, clearly, only someone rich enough to write a book could afford a hybrid minivan, while regular minivans are as cheap as dirt.

Two minutes of Googling, people, two minutes of googling. It is your friend.

Apr 27, 2011

That One Sank Into the Swamp Too

Adam Zyglis, 4/25/11:
Even for the purposes of a metaphor, depicting GOP stalwarts as being relatively young and female is worth a round of loud, derisive laughter.

Fun With Symbolic Logic

Bill Mutranowski, 4/25/11:
Yet another reason why the English language needs to incorporate brackets to add to logical clarity.

Does Mutranowski mean "all one can really do is not [pray and send money]", as I first read it?

Or did he mean the slightly less nihilistic "all one can really do is a) [not pray] and b) [send money]", as I would hope?

The Black Helicopters Are Coming!

Stephanie McMillan, 426/11:
In the coming socialist dystopia, anyone accused of having worked for a profitable living will be rounded up and caged in open-air "zoos," waiting for the show trials.

Only public-sector unionists will be safe.

A Little Rebellion Now and Then Is a Good Thing

Chan Lowe, 4/26/11:
Actually, the Price Regent (who wasn't called that yet, anyway, because he wasn't that yet) didn't get married to Maria Fitzherbert until 1785; he would turn fourteen years old in the summer of 1776.

Today's installment of Missing The Point Theatre was brought to you by Editorial Explanations. Use Editorial Explanations for all of your confusing, confounding, and confabulatory cartoon needs.

A Man's Snail Is His Castle

Randy Bish, 4/26/11:
Housing prices can't "recover" until they actually hit bottom -- and they're still substantially above historical norms, viz:

Apr 26, 2011

Brother, Can You Spare a Scythe?

Rick McKee, 4/24/11:
With the resurrection of Jesus, the law of death was utterly broken, and so no one has died in the over two thousand years since then.

And, since we all know that to be true, it proves that McKee's particular brand of Christianity is the One True Religion forevermore.

We Have Met the Enemy

Milt Priggee, 4/23/11:
Because that state budget money comes from somewhere other than from the pockets of those teachers and parents, and a few million similar people statewide.

Ice, Ice, Baby

Ann Cleaves, 4/25/11:
Those are two old people, and they've been left to die on a shrinking iceberg, the way that some Inuit tribes have been said to do to the people they considered old and useless.

This, somehow, is a commentary on the debate that America is firmly against having on Medicare and Medicaid.

Class Warfare Goes House-To-House

Terry Wise, 4/25/11:
I entirely agree with the USA-clad pop: if his family was actually rich, I very much doubt that they'd tolerate having a rat on the kitchen counter.

Apr 25, 2011

Yet Another Videogame War

Yaser Ahmad, 3/20/11:
Ghadaffi's totalitarian rule is actually  based on his leet skills at PS3 games -- though this is little known in the West.

(Yes, I know this is a month-old cartoon, but I just saw it -- and, boy, does it need explaining.)

Egg Hunt

Steve Breen, 4/22/11:
If you don't know what it means, you're already doomed to burn in h-e-double-hockey-sticks for all eternity, you godless sinner you.

Nuke 'Em and Eat 'Em

Nate Beeler, 4/22/11:
Some metaphors just can't be turned into words; they have to remain as a glorious image, in all of its lunacy. This is one such, and one suspects that Beeler has been hitting the Cadbury Creme Eggs pretty hard this year to have attained such a sugar high so early.

I particularly recommend clicking on this one to view it full size, so that all of the labels on the Obama-crowave are clearly legible.

All Hail the Sacred Egg!

Rob Rogers, 4/23/11:
I really don't want to be thinking about that geezer's "sacred egg" right now, thank you very much.

And doesn't "sacred egg" sound like the tenet of some strange new schismatic Christian sect? (Perhaps they will then schism themselves, into Bigendians and Littlendians.)

Apr 24, 2011

Boldly Pointing at Pictures of Things

Chuck Asay, 4/22/11:
So Ryan's plan is to stand at point at pictures while attempting to look serious, while Obama's plan is to note the gaping flaws and giveaways in Ryan's plan?

Sounds about right to me....

Newsflash: Detroit Still Cold, Desolate

Henry Payne, 4/21/11:
Global warming means it's never cold anywhere, ever!

(And I thought I wouldn't get to say that again, now that winter is over. Good ol' Payne.) 

We All Live in a Yellow Submarine

Dick Locher, 4/22/11:
Someone has been watching too many WWII movies before bed again.

Though I would expect it would be easy to stay under the debt ceiling if one is in a submarine...this metaphor is beginning to look a bit fishy to me.

Apr 23, 2011

Paging Dr. Woodrue

Lisa Benson, 4/22/11:
The Parliament of Trees is getting antsy. Perhaps getting that new iPad is a great idea, after all.

Sleepy Bunny

Victor Harville, 4/22/11:
Just because you can link two "news items" together doesn't mean you should.

First They Complained That It DIDN'T Know Where They Were....

John Sherffius, 4/21/11:
We are shocked -- shocked! -- that a pocket-sized communication device that allows us to "check in" at various commercial establishments, that contains a GPS device, and that, more often than not, connects phone calls to wherever we happen to be at the time actually knows where we are!

How utterly, utterly surprising that it knows this. We certainly could not have guessed that location-based services would ever know our location.

Apr 22, 2011

A Long Drive

Rick McKee, 4/20/11:
If we ever have a President that doesn't golf, the fallout among editorial cartoonists will be immeasurable.

Beware the Evil Fed!

Chuck Asay, 4/21/11:
Yesterday was a red-letter day; Chuck Asay had two cartoons. The first one (already published here, earlier this morning) had an interesting point of view, but was clearly comprehensible.

This one, though, stumps me. Has the Federal Reserve begun a plan to confiscate the balances of random American schmoes? Or is this some sort of coded reference to the runaway inflation that the usual right-wing goldbugs keep insisting is going to start any minute now?

Golly Wow!

Joe Heller, 4/21/11:
Gosh! Football teams will actually be playing each other every weekend -- plus Mondays -- for sixteen weeks this fall and winter! That is utterly unlike what happens every other year! And they're sometimes playing teams slightly more or less often than previously!

I'm glad I'm not a football fan; my heart wouldn't be able to take the excitement.

Comfy and Cozy

Chuck Asay, 4/21/11:
Only Chuck Asay would be bold enough to say, "You know what? We haven't invaded enough countries lately."

Apr 21, 2011

Featherbedding On the Job

Chris Britt, 4/19/11:
Air-traffic controllers fall asleep at work because they're shiftless, lazy layabouts who just need a good thrashing now and then, like The Gipper would have done!

It has absolutely nothing to do with the problems of night shifts in general -- not at all!

Hopping Down the Bunny Trail

Brian Fairrington, 4/19/11:
Remember, everything having to do with government -- no matter how structural or deeply entrenched it may be -- is entirely the fault of the current head guy. So Farrington doesn't want to hear any guff about two wars, or a major unfunded prescription drug program, or massive tax cuts for rich people and corporations -- those are all in the past, and so they don't count anymore.

Circle the Wagons

Dick Locher, 4/20/11:
Oddly enough, there was just a poll of Americans' opinions about matters budgetary, conducted by the Washington Post, and it found...well, let me quote:
Only President Obama’s call to raise tax rates on the wealthiest Americans enjoys solid support.

Another One of Those Deeply Local Cartoons That It's Not Really Fair To Pick On

Signe Wilkinson, 4/20/11:
John Street is a former mayor of Philadelphia, and he recently changed his party affiliation from Democratic to Independent -- which is widely seen as preparation to a new mayoral run.

And now you know...the rest of the story!

Apr 20, 2011

Superman and the Boy Scout

R.J. Matson, 4/18/11:
If the New Yorker reviewed editorial cartoons, this would have to run under "Block that Metaphor."

I am just in awe of the million-watt glare of all those labels, so I'm not even going to try to untangle it.

The Ol' Reverse Capricorn One!

Jeff Koterba, 4/19/11:
The secret black-budget space program has been funded in a very unlikely way.

That, or Koterba is taking the mothballing of the space shuttle fleet really hard.

At the Start of a Pretty Big Downer

Jimmy Margulies, 4/19/11:
So it's better if he gets sliced by two knives at once? Perhaps this metaphor has not been thought through with the precision that one would have hoped.

Still, it's clearly bad times for pasty, flabby white guys in New Jersey.

Consider the Bunnies of the Field

Angelo Lopez, 4/19/11:
Aww, isn't it cute?

{a long pause}

Wait, is that it? Isn't the Easter Bunny a metaphor for John Boehner, or Ghadaffi, or someone?

Let's see...the caption is: "Heavy rains make spring in California especially bad for allergies." How sad for them. Heavy rains where I live have made spring in New Jersey especially bad for floods -- we've had three in just over a month. (And the tornado-tossed center of the US may want to have a word as well.) So stop whining, California!

Looking for a Giant Tool

Bill Day, 4/19/11:
Don't let yourself get distracted by the disturbingly phallic (and proudly erect) nature of the Capitol Dome -- Day has a metaphor to put across, and it will take all of your wit to perceive it.

You see, the US Congress, under the influence of the Tea Party -- see their little tea-bag flag? -- has a gigantic screw loose.

Apr 19, 2011

Honey, I Shrunk the Baseball!

Rob Rogers, 4/17/11:
Hey, look! A reference to steroid-induced testicular atrophy! Good thing no one under twenty reads newspapers anymore, so you don't have to explain this to Little Timmy!

Life Is Sad, Believe Me, Missy

Randy Bish, 4/17/11:
If this were "Editorial Cartoons I Don't Understand," this one would get the king of all geezer tags, for quoting at such great length from a seventy-two-year-old movie.

Sadly, this is not, so one is left to ponder a Speaker Boehner painted a different unlikely color and to wonder what the courageous thing is that Bish wishes he would do.

Apr 18, 2011

Pants on the Ground

Jimmy Margulies, 4/17/11:
Recipe for a Sunday editorial cartoon:
  • take one exceedingly minor scandal, in this case, the revelation that some New Jersey state employees have a uniform allowance even though they wear normal office clothes
  • connect to some outdated and extremely cranky characterization of people younger than the cartoonist -- extra points if there's a whiff of class or race condescension
  • whip up quickly in order to make a Saturday-afternoon tee time.

Snorlax, I Choose You!

Joe Heller, 4/16/11:
America is indeed a deeply sleepy nation, ready to nod off at the slightest excuse and ready for a little nap most afternoons. But is that a bad thing?

SOMEONE's Overly Interested In Women's Reproductive Organs Here

Chuck Asay, 4/16/11:
Assumption #1: only liberals are interested in pornography. (The alternative explanation is that Asay believes that budding conservatives go straight for hardcore, but that seems unlikely, to put it mildly.)

Assumption #2: no one will think to check what Planned Parenthood actually spends its money on.

One also notes that this cartoon is quaintly pre-Internet; it makes assertions that are trivially easy to refute, and assumes that a young person's first encounter with naked boobies will be at the corner newsstand, 1962-style.

Apr 16, 2011

Shut Up and Deal

Chuck Asay, 4/15/11:
OK, so Obama's first two aces are the Presidency and the Senate (see, there's Harry Reid standing next to him). And Boehner's first ace is the House...so, what's his second ace? Is Asay admitting that the Supreme Court is in the tank for the Republicans?

Things Are Tough All Over

Ted Rall, 4/15/11:
Is that woman on the right supposed to be Michele Obama or Hilary Clinton? Or -- and this is possibly the most frightening possibility -- is she both?

Do You Like Scary Taxes?

Jeff Stahler, 3/14/11:
They say that we get the government we deserve, so a people that equates paying taxes at all with being slaughtered by a serial killer -- as seen in this cartoon as well as one by Milt Priggee  -- is clearly doomed to have eternal budget battles because we just can't manage to fund the stuff we want to do entirely by taking money from other people.

In other taxes-are-hell news, Joe Heller at least makes it a gas prices joke, which isn't original but is at least distinctive. And John Cole misses the movie reference, but has the same attitude: it's better to die than to pay taxes. John R. Rose goes with the time-tested "death and taxes" reference, and is yet another cartoonist who can't pass up a chance to drawn the Grim Reaper.

But, guys, pssst! Tax Day isn't actually until Monday this year.

Numbskulls.

Apr 15, 2011

Tea-time!

David Fitzsimmons, 4/13/11:
Those Tea Party-aligned freshmen -- part of a movement that claimed to be fanatically devoted to economic issues and nothing else -- are forcing poor John Boehner into espousing heavily conservative social positions, when he'd normally be liberal as the day is long.

Poor, poor Boehner.