Aug 30, 2013

Oh, No! Young People Have Music Their Parents Dislike! And they DANCE, Too!

Joe Heller, 8/29/13:
If it's too loud sexy, you're too old.

Meanwhile, Across the Pond

Martin Rowson, 8/27/13:
No matter what we endure from our political cartoonists, we Americans never have to sit through a month-long shaggy dog story that ends in a dialect punchline like this one.

(In case you don't get it, you're not alone: it took a good dozen commentators at The Guardian -- presumably all British and already pronouncing their words the way Rowson intended -- to work it out.)

Because Politicians Aren't Allowed to Say "It's a Horrible Thing We Can't Fix"

Eric Allie, 8/28/13:
We have to invade Syria right now, for the kind of humanitarian reasons that Republicans usually make fun of, because that will go so much better than the ratholes for money and lives called Iraq and Afghanistan.

Well, unless Obama actually invades, in which case that's the absolute worst thing we could possibly do.

Aug 29, 2013

Ooh, Baby, You Are So Talented!

Darryl Barksdale, 8/28/13:
Assad isn't really killing people with poison gas -- he's only pretending to, so as to lure the US into invading his country, overthrowing him, and sending him to an international war-crimes tribunal, where the best-case result would be that he's allowed to live quietly somewhere remote in Russia.

One wonders if Barksdale is any more familiar with the actual war in Syria than he is with human motivation.

Aug 28, 2013

King of the Mountain

Steve Benson, 8/27/13:
Yeah! Syria is no worse than the USA, because we have large stockpiles of killing devices as well!

And we're using them on our citizens to brutally stop a popular uprising, too!

Um, what? Benson, can we have a word, please?

Time to Check The Dog Whistle Handbook

Glenn McCoy, 8/27/13:
Obama is scheming to destroy the US military in an unwinnable quagmire in Syria, so that the forces of international Communist Muslim Kenyan Marxist Naziism can conquer the world.

Funny, I thought right-wingers like McCoy believed that Obama was traitorously ignoring the clear warning signs of international terrorism in Syria and not invading so Al Qaeda could conquer the world.

It's so hard to keep up with them.

Two Roads Diverged in a Cartoon Wood

Ann Cleaves, 8/27/13:
Are those guys supposed to be secret government spooks or just regular guys -- or even one of each?

Come to think of it, what on earth is this cartoon trying to say? That all secrets are leaked, and all lead into the woods?

Aug 27, 2013

And Forget the Olive Branch in the Right Claw

Michael Ramirez, 8/25/13:
To be militarily strong and suitably regal, you have to abandon your children and let them die.

To Ramirez, this is a good thing.

Impeach that Commie Kenyan-Born Batman!

Mike Lester, 8/25/13:
Oh no! There are a large number of Americans who prejudged the abilities of a prominent man before they had any chance to actually see his work -- and they won't let any facts sway them!

And some people hate Obama for no reason, too!

The Girl Who Never Grew Up

Randy Bish, 8/25/13:
It is horrifying and appalling when young women grow up and become independent sexual beings -- it's our job as men to stop that at all costs until we can marry them off to "good husbands" who will "take care of them."

Aug 26, 2013

Go, Baby, Go!

Mike Lester, 8/24/13:
Yes, Obama is entirely backing the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt, which is why he let the local military overthrow their chosen President and has continued to give military support to the new regime, which, as you know Bob, is against the Muslim Brotherhood.

Or, maybe, it's just that some cartoonists will take any excuse to draw Obama and the word "Muslim" in the same cartoon.

Blame It on the Rap Music and Those Backward Ball Caps

Glenn McCoy, 8/24/13:
We must never forget that young black men are all murderous thugs who must be kept in their place at all times. And how come a minority has the ability to ever stand up to the glorious white man?!

What? You think there's any other reason that McCoy and his ilk are harping on this one story? The need for Australian joggers to be heavily armed to defend themselves, perhaps?

Line, Line, Everywhere a Line

Stuart Carlson, 8/23/13:
It is the USA's solemn duty to intervene, anywhere in the world, where there is death and oppression and misery, no matter what the cost or the long as it's in the one or two countries that we're paying attention to at the time.

Aug 23, 2013

Stop and Frisk, Baby!

Gary McCoy, 8/22/13:
C'mon -- we all know that it's those scary young black men that commit all of the real crimes in this country, right?

So we upright white men (and, OK, maybe Hispanics, too, if they're not too brown and vote Republican) just have to be able to shoot them at will.

Aug 22, 2013

She Isn't Quite Herself Today

Paul Berge, 8/21/13:
If you're opposed to gay marriage, it must be because you're a psychotic murderer with multiple personalities.

Gotta be.

Aug 20, 2013

Alanis Would Call It Ironic

Paul Fell, 8/19/13:
Falling prices for a commodity sold on a free market is completely unrelated to projections of a bumper crop of that commodity.

No, seriously -- what else is Fell illustrating here? That the price drops as supply increases? Quick -- someone notify Adam Smith!

Cue Discussion of "Gang-Bangers"

Charlie Daniel, 8/19/13:
We all know that all non-whites are incorrigible criminals, so it's only right that they be stopped and frisked at any time -- why, they should be happy we let them live free in the first place!

Aug 19, 2013

Let's Ask Old Timer Billy Slater What to Do

Mike Lester, 8/16/13:
Only lefties complain when their President is mocked, because there's no tradition in the US of respecting the man and the office.

Why, remember when it turned out that a TV show inadvertently used a GW Bush severed head in a background shot -- not a single right-winger protested about that, right?

Up, Up and Away

Ann Cleaves, 8/16/13:
The most important constituency for any Congresman is the community of faux-Victorian balloonists; if you can get them on your side, you're guaranteed victory.

Aug 16, 2013

"Prophet" -- Nudge! Nudge! Get It?

A.F. Branco, 9/15/13:
Every other President -- for example, that useless empty suit Reagan, who barely had enough brain cells to walk in a straight line -- is perfectly fine to insult.

There's absolutely no history of taking the elected leader of our country seriously -- at least not when he's a black guy.

Aug 15, 2013

Everybody's Gonna Leave Their Seat

John Cole, 8/14/13:
The problem with Detroit has nothing to do with a couple of decade of corrupt politicians and the fleeing of the tax base outside the city (something that's only a problem due to the US's heavily home-rule-dependent, federalized system, by the way) -- nope, it's purely because a generation of blue-collar workers didn't just die in harness like good little serfs and save the bankers some money.

Paging Dr. Howard. Dr. Fine. Dr. Howard.

Lisa Benson, 8/14/13:
There is some mysterious, alchemical process by which the massive multi-state bureaucracy and stack of insurance companies of Obamacare will mystically turn into a single-payer program like Medicare, saving vast sums of money and aligning the USA with the best practices of every other advanced country in the world.

...and Benson thinks that's horrible.

Not Even Sure What the Joke Is Here

Terry Wise, 8/14/13:
LinkedIn is a serious tool used within companies, and not a glorified resume site primarily used by people angling for better jobs -- and, therefore, companies will pay people to teach their employees who to use it.

I do have to wonder who's more clueless...the hiring manager in this cartoon or Wise himself?

Aug 14, 2013

The Wizarding World of Baldy McFatso

Terry Wise, 8/13/13:
Children do not use writing utensils every damn day of their school careers.

Also, all you stupid kids with your baggy pants, long hair, VHS tapes, 23-skidoo, Brylcream, and tattoos need to get off Wise's lawn right now.

And Think of the Prison-Guard Layoffs!

Ed Gamble, 8/13/13:
We should keep minor criminals in jail -- not that's even what Holder said; he just isn't going to prosecute minor drug offenders under laws that would give them long jail sentences -- and pay about $100k a year each for them, just to keep them from competing with the already unemployed.

Because that's the smart economic thing to do.

And the Gas Tank Is in the Driver's Seat

A.F. Branco, 8/13/13:
When Obama calls on Republicans to stand behind his major policy initiatives, they just say "Yes, sir" and fall in line...


I'm sorry; I just can't say that with a straight face. If this is what Branco considers acquiescence, I have to assume his idea of action is armed insurgency.

Aug 13, 2013

Just Say No!

Bob Gorrell, 8/12/13:
The first in a new series from Gorrell: Word in the News!
Keep a look out for stunning depictions of Crime, Scandal, and Unemployment!
Thrill as Gorell hand-letters a headline from the day's paper, and then carefully draws a word to fill his cartoon space!

Aug 12, 2013

It's Funny Because He's a Grown Man COMPLETELY UNFAMILIAR With a Common Object in Everyday Life!

Scott Stantis, 8/9/13:
Ha ha! Those young people, with their baggy pants and their rap music and their google glasses -- they don't know what a real, dying, money-hemorrhaging newspaper is!

And that's funny, because it means people like Stantis will lose their jobs forever!

Aug 8, 2013

Whoa! Huge Slam on Anteaters Out of Nowhere!

Arend van Dam, 8/7/13:
And, apparently, the Dutch make the best racists.

She Had Sex Out of Wedlock and Must Be Punished

David Fitzsimmons, 8/7/13:
Um...single moms are by definition immature and unable to care for their children?

Any other possible explanation here?

We Demand a Barter System Now!

Michael Ramirez, 8/7/13:
Thing That Confuses Me, #1: Ramirez clearly thinks that the GOP has capitulated to Obama, and is going along with his every whim. This does not precisely reflect reality.

Thing That Confuses Me, #2: Apparently, "spending" is a bad thing which we need to stop. If any economists out there know Ramirez, could you give him a quick lesson in how capitalism works?

Aug 7, 2013

The Binary of Stiff Upper Lip and Stark Utter Panic

Tim Hartman, 8/6/13:
and Ed Gamble, also 8/6/13:
When a President gets a serious tip about a potential major terrorist attack, the manly thing to do is ignore it, like Bush did.

If it turns out to be true, you can always invade some countries later, and look exceptionally tough while doing so.

Aug 6, 2013

Note the Circa 1980 Punk Mohawk on a Kid Born Circa 1990

A.F. Branco, 8/5/13:
All of the unemployed are feckless Millennials -- and they're all completely qualified for those great "skills gap" jobs that are going begging now; they just stay unemployed out of spite!

Pay no attention to the facts and studies by so-called "experts" showing that the big problem is long-term unemployed (i.e., people actively looking for work for tens of weeks) and that older workers have born the worst of the recession and weak recovery.

Nope -- just blame it on those damn kinds, like always!


Terry Wise, 8/5/13:
A popular Republican from a heavily Democratic state in the Northeast is not nearly reactionary enough for Wise, which means he's a poser, because only the very most ideologically pure are true members of the vanguard Communist Party USA Republicans.

In other words: the circular firing squad that is the modern Republican Party continues. And Wise doesn't even feel the need to attack Christie with any facts -- like the Terror, merely the accusation of ideological deviation is enough.

Aug 2, 2013

Beast Master

A.F. Branco, 8/1/13:
Um, so Obama has harnessed the combined power of Democrats and Republicans to forge a single all-powerful government, and only Ted Cruz can stop it from reaching the land of Freedom -- which is marked by a flag of The Will of the People?

I'm impressed -- I don't think there's a single thing in this cartoon that makes sense or bears any resemblance to reality.