Will This Be on the Final?

Lisa Benson, 3/15/13:

It's so much simpler when poor people just accept that they don't deserve health care, and go off to die quietly, isn't it?

Surgical Metaphors -- Just What the GOP Needs!

Chuck Asay, 3/15/13:

To be fair, the Republican plan should probably be represented by the word "scalpel" about three dozen more times here.

Keep on Trucking?

A.F. Branco, 3/15/13:

The sitting President is besmirching the reputation of the entire country in a way that Branco doesn't even need to mention.

(One suspects the President's skin color might factor into it.)

Wherever You Are in the World...

Arend van Dam, 3/3/13:

Global warming means it's never cold anywhere!

I Cut It Down With My Little Axe

Michael Ramirez, 3/14/13:

Dow at 14,000. Record corporate profits for several years running. Yup, the economy is certainly horrible out there, especially for Ramirez's readers over at Investor's Business Daily.

When in Danger Or in Doubt

Mike Lester, 3/14/13:

If you let the mere fact that your favorite punching bag isn't actually in the news stop you from cartooning another cheap shot today, you're just not trying hard enough.

Also, is Lester calling for a female pope? A black female pope?!

First They Came for the Assault Weapons, And I Didn't Speak Up Because I'm a Handgun Man

Chuck Asay, 3/14/13:

Whenever Democrats take over in a political region, the very first thing they do, inevitably, is confiscate all of the guns in that area.

Why, it's happened so many times that Asay doesn't feel the need to cite a single precedent!

Prepare for a Wave of Latino Stereotypes

Paul Berge, 3/14/13:

Hey! Did'ja hear that the new Pope is Hispanic?!

I suppose we should be happy that Berge merely implied that Francis has a scandalous weakness for the ladies rather than putting him in a floppy hat and sombrero....

Pry My Dr. Pepper From My Cold, Dead Hands

Clay Bennett, 3/13/13:

All of our health and obesity problems would be solved if only we would drink water with our triple heart-attack burgers and jumbo fries.

Courts, Shmorts -- Just Shoot Him!

Jerry Holbert, 3/11/13;

Exactly! We already know exactly who all of the good and bad people are in the world -- well, at least the President does, and we all always trust the current President, right? -- so we should just let him use drones to kill every last person he wants to, so the world can finally be safe!

The rule of law is for pussies!

Carefully Exclude That Middle!

Terry Wise, 3/11/13:

Remember: they're called criminals because they don't follow laws, right? (NRA Talking Point #1.)

And, as Wise points out here (NRA Talking Point #2), gun registrations and similar actions primarily affect lawful gun-owners, since criminals, by definition, break every single law, all of the time, and can never be punished for their crimes.

Therefore no laws are ever needed for anything, since they only discomfit the honest while the evil disregard them!

If Anyone Uses the Term "Ssireum," I'll Eat My Hat

Monte Wolverton, 3/11/13:

Either Wolverton doesn't realize that sumo is actually Japanese, or he assumes "all them slant-eyes" are the same.

So, for those scoring at home, this counts for both "racist" and "sizeist" on your Cartoonist Offensiveness Bingo Card.

Peppered With Shots by the Responding Officers

Terry Wise, 3/10/13:

There is no imaginable reason to make "a salt rifle" -- or, even more so, to call it that -- except to cause trouble.

And it's only middle-aged white guys who think agitating armed officers of the law is a fun and safe thing to do.

Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Hungry....

Chan Lowe, 3/8/13:

Americans, being one of the poorest nations in the world, are used to relying on aid from foreign oil-rich governments to heat their homes.

So Many Questions, So Little Sense

Daryl Cagle, 3/6/13:

Um...the Cardinals currently attempting to choose the new Pope are all really old and forgetful?

And lying about...something?

This isn't a local cartoon for someplace, is it? Are those supposed to be three specific Cardinals? (The only Cardinal I can tell by sight is Ozzie Smith.)

Trick Shot

Rosse Gosse, 3/7/13:

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the single worst caricature of anyone that I've ever seen.

And I doubt any of you could find a worse one.

Tortured Toast Theatre

Joe Heller, 3/7/13:

This cartoon actually makes clear the otherwise inexplicable bloodlust from Heller's fellow cartoonists toward Chavez -- who never invaded the US, threatened us in any way, or did anything more than be a popular leader of a county a few thousand miles away who espoused a political philosophy denigrated in the USA.

You see, we're just wishing it had been Castro, who actually was a Soviet satellite back when that meant something.

Body in the Box

A.F. Branco, 3/7/13:

In your face, Venezuela! If your medical system can't keep alive terminal patients, it's clearly useless!

Flyover States

Terry Wise, 3/7/13:

It must be soothing to be so innocent that the worst thing you think drones might do is to "spy on us."

The idea that states can make their own aviation rules is also amusing.

Where's Androcles When You Need Him?

Bob Englehart, 3/6/13:

Hugo Chavez was the fiendish leader of a worldwide organization that daunted American aims at every turn for decades, so we all cheer at his death.

Or was he just the recent leader of a small, minor country whose most offensive action was disagreeing with US policy in ways that didn't actually stop us from doing anything?

Editorial cartoonists -- Englehart is only the one I picked on -- would like you to believe the former.

Merely a Flesh Wound!

Rob Rogers, 3/5/13:

The circa-3% cuts demanded by the sequester have cut America in half!

Are the two halves the "blue states" that send more money to DC than they get back (and so will do OK) and the "red states" (whose representatives mostly caused this problem) who usually get more than they give, and who will be in more trouble the longer this goes on?

Or is this just a cheap metaphor? (I know how I'm betting!)

Not Just Racist, But Dumb

Robert Ariail, 3/5/13:

Ha ha! Some people are weird and different, because their skins aren't utterly pale like normal people!

(And don't get them started about those bizarre women!)

Just Because It's THE LAW Doesn't Mean They'll DO IT

Chuck Asay, 3/1/13:

It is the duty of politicians to oppose and stymie the law of the land, if that law was proposed by the other party.

No, really, Asay just said that.

Oh No! We Must All "Sell Our Investments"!!!

Michael Ramirez, 3/1/13:

If there was any doubt about what audience Ramirez was cartooning for, over there at Investor's Business Daily [1], this cartoon should put that to rest: it's entirely people who are rich enough to worry about taxes increasing on millionaires, and arrogant to refuse to make the slightest cutbacks in their gold-plated lives.

Wall Streeters, for short.

[1] I had to check on the placement of the apostrophe, which was stupid of me -- of course it was the individual form; those folks wouldn't collectively piss on a barn on fire.

Do We Care About Her Muu-Muu?

Terry Wise, 3/1/13:

Yes, this was published in an actual newspaper, which implies that there isn't actually an Elwood (P. Dowd, he asked, inquisitively?) being skewered and that thus Wise thinks this was the most pressing issue for a political cartoonist to opine about on the day the sequester hit.