Feb 29, 2012

Grandma! What Big Speculators You Have!

Eric Allie, 2/28/12:
How come it's always the guys who insist so much on the power of the free market that also want to assign blame for the fluctuation of prices?

Do free markets only work when prices are going down?

Separation of Foot and Mouth

Terry Wise, 2/28/12:
Sure, Santorum just said that he doesn't think there should be any separation between church and state -- putting him in the company of the Taliban and Iran's mullahs, who also like their official churches snugged right up into the bosom of the state -- but that's certainly not newsworthy, is it?

Feb 28, 2012

Who's That Tripping Over My Bridge?

Bob Englehart, 2/23/12:
If I was sure which kind of "education reform" Englehart meant -- the kind that means giving all the money to poor districts and their teachers, since they're so poor and downtrodden and oppressed, on the one hand, or the kind that means giving all the money to Catholic and private schools to buy conservative votes, on the other -- I'd be able to figure out how exactly their bus's tripping over that bridge was going to provoke Mr. Nasty Old Poverty Troll there.

Since I don't, I can't really speculate -- but isn't "Poverty" usually a reason to have "education reform," rather than a vicious goat-eating monster?

Hands On

Henry Payne, 2/27/12:
Forget about that! What we really want to know is who do that third set of hands belong to?

Feb 27, 2012

Ann Cleaves Confuses Me Once Again

Ann Cleaves, 2/24/12:
Rick Santorum is a cart full of cloud-like objects, which were possibly mined somewhere recently.

Huh!? If this is some kind of comment on fracking -- which is both common and controversial in Santorum's native Pennsylvania -- I have to say I don't get it. Or is he going to hell in a handbasket?

The Food Is Horrible! And Such Small Portions!

Ed Stein, 2/24/12:
I want to thank Stein from saving me a lot of work: at least a dozen of his compatriots have executed almost exactly these four panels -- generally as separate cartoons -- and it would have been tiresome and time-consuming to track them all down.

Or, in short: what he said.

Solving the Wrong Problem

Adam Zyglis, 2/25/12:
Bulk-mail volume and profits are up, actually, and the consumer-sent stuff was always more of a hassle than it was worth.

The USPS has been forced to pre-pay its pension obligations for the next few decades, though -- unlike any other private or public entity in the world -- and so may be forced to close facilities and lay off people to get under that Congressionally-mandated demand.

But keep trying, Zyglis! You'll get it right eventually.

Explosion at the Zappos Warehouse!

Lisa Benson, 2/25/12:
Yes, in the state where it's been essentially impossible to raise taxes for a couple of decades now, every level of government has resorted to dumb accounting tricks to pretend to be fulfilling their responsibilities -- and now it's all falling apart.

No one could have ever predicted that!

Where's Fonzie When You Need Him?

Jeff Danziger, 2/26/12:
Of course! How could I not have seen the Republican presidential nomination process as a kind of log-rolling competition taking place on a strange-looking shark in the middle of the ocean!

It's all so clear now....

The Mullah's Missing Because He Had to Make Wee-Wee

Terry Wise, 2/26/12:
Yes, those nasty Muslim fanatics say "make potty." Want to make fun of 'em for it?

Also, if you burn and desecrate Bibles, people like Wise are totally OK with it!

Feb 26, 2012

Socialists! Kenyans! Somebody Please Listen to Her Screaming!

Lisa Benson, 2/24/12:
Benson apparently believes the lion's share of government spending goes to children rather than to old folks -- perhaps because she's so firmly against the existence of Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security.

Still, I've got this great bridge in Brooklyn that I'm sure she'd love to buy.

Feb 24, 2012

Pac-ing Up the Flag

Paul Szep, 2/23/12:
The USA is being destroyed by our addiction to thirty-five-year-old video games.

If you've got a better explanation, I'd love to hear it....

You Could Be Driving Two Cadillacs At the Same Time

Jake Fuller, 2/23/12:
As we all know from dozens of previous editorial cartoons, Obama's energy policy consists of forcing Americans -- probably at gunpoint! -- to embrace "green" energy sources, and this is a horrible thing because gas will continue to be plentiful and cheap because we really, really want it to be.

So now I'm confused.

Are we complaining that Obama didn't push hard enough on his green-energy intitatives?

Feb 23, 2012

White Folks in Minivans: America's Secret Horror

Cal Grondahl, 2/22/12:
America: the family-friendly, happy oppressive security regime!

(I hope this is a reference to some specific story in Grondahl's native Utah, because otherwise it's just creepy.)

Uphill Both Ways

Joel Pett, 2/22/12:
You have no right to complain if anyone, anywhere in the world -- now, or at any time in the past -- has ever had things even slightly worse than you do.

So suck it up, you big babies!

Finally a Jobs Program We Can ALL Recoil In Horror From

Ted Rall, 2/22/12:
The real problem is that not enough babies have been aborted to bring full employment.

But Rall has a Modest Proposal to solve that!

Feb 22, 2012

The More Things Change

Chuck Asay, 2/17/12:
Yes, the US was founded by a bunch of men with a powerful aversion to paying taxes to cover the cost of a recent war -- the French & Indian Wars, look 'em up -- that protected their homeland.

Nice to know some things never change.

The Rent Is Too Damn High!

Michael Ramirez, 2/20/12:
...because, with supply stable and demand slightly down, it's probably because those speculators who read papers like Investors Business Daily [1] are bidding up oil futures to make a quick buck off other people's misery.

As usual.

Oh, no, wait: it must be the pipeline that wouldn't be done for ten years. That's got to be it.

[1] For which Ramirez cartoons.

Hose Her Down If She Gets Distressed

Rob Rogers, 2/21/12:
Now, this is purely misrepresenting Santorum's views on women, and it's really unfair.

Santorum certainly does not think women should be locked into cages on the roofs of cars -- they'd have to be let out of the house to do that!

Feb 21, 2012

The Sound of Someone Else NOT Paying Tax

Mike Lester, 2/18/12:
The only time that's it's legitimate to complain about a corporation paying low taxes is when that corporation has taken government money.

Which is, given how large the government is and how many programs, giveaways, and special tax havens it has, absolutely all of them.

Porky There COULD Stand to Watch His Bacon Intake

Lisa Benson, 2/17/12:
Yeah! Where does that stupid government get off on telling private insurance companies that they have to pay for cost-effective preventative health measures that most people want!

The point of insurance companies is to take people's money and not provide health care -- we all know that.

And don't get him started on those horrible nutritional information labels! Why, in his day, you ate thousands of bug parts per million and liked it!

It's Fun to Play The Blame Game!

Nick Anderson, 2/17/12:
Coroner's report? We ain't got no coroner's report! We don't need no coroner's report! I don't have to show you any stinking coroner's report!

Feb 20, 2012

We're Making Deals!

Chip Bok, 2/17/12:
My assumption is that Mr. Killowatt there is the customer, walking away from a sale, but this cartoon is so confused that may be incorrect.

But, if so, Bok is claiming that even the embodiment of electricity itself finds electric cars too expensive.

In other news, watch out for an "It's Obama's fault gas is so expensive" cartoon from Bok tomorrow.

Religion by Democracy?

Terry Wise, 2/18/12:
So few people really understand what it means to be part of an autocratic religion these days -- why, 98% of Catholic women have even used birth control!

It's H-E-double hockey sticks for the lot of you!

Bipartisanship Is Dangerous to Your Health

Charlie Daniel, 2/17/12:
Mr. Massive Heart Attack there is so opposed to a payroll tax cut that it just killed him.

(Either that, or he's so shocked that the Dems and GOP actually worked together that it put him over the edge.)

Feb 17, 2012

Don't Show This Cartoon in Kansas!

Chuck Asay, 2/16/12:
I'm flabbergasted that Asay even knows how to spell "evolution," let alone is willing to use it in a cartoon.

So it would probably be gauche of me to point out that his conception here is more like Lysenkoism -- the Communist dogma of the erstwhile Soviet Union -- than actual Darwininan evolution as it is currently understood. Ten points for trying, Chuck!

Completely Full of It

Ann Cleaves, 2/16/12:
Cleaves's cartoons are always so sweet and open that my first thought -- that this cartoon is deeply, wickedly cynical -- must be wrong.

But then it makes absolutely no sense, particularly since she's neglected to label these civic-minded folks driving to wherever (Washington?) with their truck-loads of money.

Feb 16, 2012

Biased Media Are Biased

Chuck Asay, 2/14/12:
The lamestream media hate real Americans and are biased.

That's it -- no joke, no commentary on any actual event, not even any real panel-to-panel continuity of concept,  just a bald assertion that the people Asay doesn't like are evil doody-heads.

Baby You Can Push My Car

Larry Wright, 2/15/12:
When I'm writing run-on sentences anyone can expect to know that sense I'm not making cars running for President good night Mrs. Callabash wherever you are.

A Typical Case of American Blind Justice

Paul Berge, 2/15/12:
Your guess is as good as mine: there's not even enough to Google from here.

Some woman with an "M" in her name, some place where Berge's cartoons appear, is against something, and the courts have ruled against her, possibly repeatedly.

Way Down Upon the Pawn-ee River

Terry Wise, 2/15/12:
If you can get enough to pay for tuition from a second-hand medium-sized TV, your kid goes to a really cheap college.

Also, I'm assuming that isn't meant to be a huge hole in the upper right-hand corner of the set, but it certainly looks like one.

Feb 15, 2012

Cupid Don't Fail Me

Now, one has to expect a certain number of Cupid cartoons on Valentine's Day, but one also hopes they will be different Cupid cartoons.
Glenn McCoy:

Robert Ariail:
And then there's Deb Milbrath, who apparently didn't read the memo carefully enough, since this one doesn't quite make sense:
So the GOP Cupid-elephants are trying to make Romney fall in love with...them? Because he's not campaigning hard enough for the Presidential job already?

Why Beholdest Thou the Mote That Is In Thy Brother's Eye?

Paul Szep, 2/14/12:
People who disagree with me politically are evil by definition.

Freedom's Just Another Word For Something I Don't Want to Have To Do

Lisa Benson, 2/14/12:
It's true: Americans are now forced to attend a government church.

No? OK, then they're denied the right to choose their religious leaders.

Not that either? All right, they can't pray in public.

Huh? What religious freedom did we lose? The inalienable right to have organizations running hospitals and schools in twenty-two states deny medical coverage to women?

Of COURSE He's Smarter Than YOU!

Joel Pett, 2/14/12:
There are no other reasons why anyone could possibly dislike President Obama or his policies -- anyone even the slightest bit less than enthusiastic is a racist anti-elitist.

Feb 14, 2012

The First Amen-dment

Eric Allie, 2/13/12:
Don't we all know the clause in the 1st Amendment that reads, "Any organization with the most tenuous connection to a religion shall be allowed to ignore any laws it doesn't like?"

Just wait until the Christian Science Widget Manufacturing Group decides on its health care plan!

Is This What They Call "Social Insurance?"

Tim Hartman, 2/13/12:
That's right! Every American should have the right to veto payment for any health-care related expense for any other American, no matter what!

Your fat neighbor needs a heart bypass? Denied!

That grumpy kid you never liked gets cancer? No chemo for you, little creep!

Well-care for that fifth pregnancy of Mrs. Holier-than-thou? Sorry, babe, better pray harder!

The Only Emperor Is the Emperor Of Ice Cream

Ron Rogers, 2/13/12:
There are two things that confuse me about this cartoon:

1) Are the numbers meaningful? Suited guys like Santorum to the power of 10, his fellow sweater-vest wearers at level 30, and church ladies only like him 5?

2) Is the church lady's left arm actually attached to anything, or is she just clutching a severed stump with her right arm?

Feb 13, 2012

Paging Master Blaster

Mike Lester, 2/11/12:
Lester apparently would like to claim that electric cars actually run on human excrement.

And since, to his mind, anything ecological is evil, that's enough of a reason to avoid it.

But, honestly, if we had a car that ran on human waste, wouldn't that be a great thing? It would solve two big problems at once, and probably make a bunch of people incredibly rich.

Can You Help a Fellow American Down on His Luck?

Michael Ramirez, 2/12/12:
The only political organization in the history of the world to ever engage in deficit spending is the current leadership of the US Democratic party.

That's right, isn't it? I mean, if a prior Republican administration -- say, one run by a guy named Bush -- had also run massive deficits, and had both vastly increased spending and cut tax revenue, then this cartoon would be just laughable, wouldn't it?

Spare Change for the Highway Fund?

Lisa Benson, 2/11/12:
So California's unions, in Benson's conception, are trying to get random people to agree to join a "Tax Hike of the Month Club" -- somehow by analogy with a local fundraising table, where you get people to buy band booster stuff or donate to the wrestling team -- and this free-market solution is a bad thing? 

Perhaps this metaphor is not quite as coherent as Benson hoped it would be.

Feb 10, 2012

Where's Mean Joe Greene When You Need Him?

Chuck Asay, 2/9/12:
It would have been far, far better to simply let our domestic auto industry collapse -- as Romney wanted -- than to allow the evil scourge of unionism to continue to live for another day.

Why, a union man wants fair pay for an honest day's work! We can't have that!

Are There Any Republicans Left Who AREN'T "Conservative"?

Bob Gorrell, 2/9/12:
For an artist with serious chops, Gorrell draws a horrible, unrecognizable Romney.

Good thing he won't have to draw Romney for the next four years, isn't it?

I Don't Think We're in Kansas Anymore...

Russell Hodin, 2/9/12:
I don't have a joke here.

I just want other people to have to look at that horrifying image, the way I had to.

You're welcome.

Feb 9, 2012

Senator Frothy Flexes

Ross Gosse, 2/8/12:
Merely an unfortunate pun on the candidates name or a deeply creepy and unpleasant glimpse of hell?

(And that's just the art!)

Getaway Car

Clay Bennett, 2/8/12:
So "Bigotry" is being dragged along the ground of ... America? ... by the car of gay marriage? And he's losing the shoe of righteousness as he tries to hold onto the tin can of popular opinion?

This metaphor may not be completely baked, perhaps....

I Really Love His Stoneface, Oh

Tom Toles, 2/8/12:
And Easter Island here represents...the Republican party? The lack of enthusiasm for Romney? The desperate wish for any other candidate?

Is this just a really inside-the-beltway take on the lower voter turnout in the GOP primaries and caucuses, or what?

Every Sperm Is Sacred

Mike Peters, 2/8/12:
Not to pick on Peters specifically -- since practically every single editorial cartoonist in the nation has been hitting this erroneous point -- but the recent ruling does not force Catholic bishops or priests to do anything, or for anyone to throw condoms from the pulpit, or similar apocalyptic prescriptions.

What it actually does is deny employers that have some connection to a religious group -- hospitals, non-profit organizations, schools, and whatever other kinds of companies -- any specific exemption to a general list of coverage that a standard health plan should cover.

In other words, these folks asked for special treatment, to not have to pay for things they'd prefer not to or to play by the usual rules, and the government said, "No, you're not really that special, you can handle this."