Jul 31, 2012

Looks Like a Cheeky Little Engine from the Island of Sodor

Ken Catalino, 7/27/12:
Yes, "Spain's Tax & Spending Crunch" is a cheerfully green train driving somewhat above and at an acute angle to the badly-drawn tracks.

And this means...what, exactly?

So...Tell Me About Your Mother

Steve Breen, 7/30/12:
Every single person who has ever seen a psychiatrist or therapist, for any reason whatsoever, is going to snap and kill dozens of people.

No exceptions.

The Ol' Rubber-Glue Act Again

Steve Kelley, 7/30/12:
Yes, it would be absolutely horrible if someone made an Olympics-opening speech like this:
You Olympians, however, know you didn’t get here solely on your own power. For most of you, loving parents, sisters or brothers encouraged your hopes. Coaches guided, communities built venues in order to organize competitions. All Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them. We’ve already cheered the Olympians, let’s also cheer the parents, coaches and communities.

...as Romney did at the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics.

Looks Like a Well-Regulated Militia To Me!

Gary McCoy, 7/30/12:
Unless you are for utter freedom of personal weaponry -- unless you stand with Justice Scalia in thinking hand-held rocket launchers are covered by the Second Amendment -- you're a dirty, stinky hippie who hates America.

Also, you probably don't know about McCoy's favorite pieces of history, which all involve people getting shot.

Do Not Collect $250 Million Dollars

Stuart Carlson, 7/30/12:
Carlson apparently likes to hibernate, since the $374,000 in speaking fees was news on January 17th -- as was the "about 15%" tax rate.

Seriously, was this a trunk cartoon that he did for a day that he wanted to slam Romney but couldn't think of anything new? And what kind of self-respecting cartoonist does this when given material like "Mitt the Twit" and "RomneyShambles"?

(A bit of sleuthing discovers that this was Carlson's cartoon for January 20th, which explains much.)

And That Torch's Flame Is GREEK!

John Deering, 7/30/12:
Foreign trade is evil -- a country must produce everything its citizens need within its own borders.

Also, Deering is nearly a week late with this particular complaint.

My Enemy's Enemy Is Still Pretty Lousy

Ted Rall, 7/30/12:
We don't have to take sides in a civil war -- if we hate 'em all, we can just let them keep killing each other indefinitely.

Or, better yet, kill them all directly!

And Matching Bathtubs -- Can't Forget the Bathtubs!

Terry Wise, 7/30/12:
Kids should learn about sex the old-fashioned way -- on the streets, from older kids -- rather than from vague pharmaceutical ads.

Jul 30, 2012

Shock! Horror!

Joel Pett, 7/27/12:
Some politicians are actually rich and friendly to the desires of other rich people!

I know! Can you believe it!

Shouting "Gay Marriage!" in a Crowded Fast-Food Joint

Tom Stiglich, 7/27/12:
"Free speech" must necessarily include the power to stop other people from treating you differently or refusing to do business with you because of the things you say.

Therefore, we are all required to buy a Chik-fil-a sandwich at least once a week, or whenever Dan Cathy opens his mouth, whichever comes first.

Freedom! (To Do What?)

Phil Hands, 7/28/12:
Hands is violently in favor of both freedom and horrific massacres.

And no country in the world with gun laws any laxer than ours (which is, pretty much, equal to any place you'd want to live) has any freedom at all!

I Just Signed Legislation Outlawing Syria. Bombing Begins in Five Minutes.

Chuck Asay, 7/29/12:
It is shocking that the UN -- where two of the veto powers on the Security Council are held by Syria's allies and suppliers Russia and China -- has not intervened militarily.

Also: why haven't we invaded Syria yet? C'mon, you know you want to!

Jul 27, 2012

Games -- Get It?! Get It?! GAMES!

And now, it's time once again for Editorial Explanations' recurring feature "If all of the other cartoonists were jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge..."

In this corner: Joe Heller, 7/25/12:

In the opposite corner: Mike Keefe, 7/26/12:
Keefe's cartoon is dated a day later (according to Cagle) -- if that's true, he's due at least a rueful head wag and a deep sigh.

Jul 26, 2012

Death's Sub-Contractor

David Fitzsimmons, 7/25/12:
Of course, only poor people ever shoot each other, or purpose or by accident -- you never hear, for example, of a sitting Vice-President hitting a top lawyer with buckshot or a pair of rich twins knocking off their parents for the money.

He's Not Even Stonewalling

Drew Sheneman, 7/25/12:
We all agreed to change our views on homosexuality -- and to legally bond all future generations, until such time as they enact a further agreemement -- in 1960.

It joined the 1947 Understanding on Cotton, the 1872 Codicil about the Word "Imperturbable," and the infamous 1724 Treaty of Hair-Care as one of the major pillars of our modern society.

And If There Weren't Any News, We Wouldn't Have to HEAR About it, Either!

Glenn McCoy, 7/25/12:
The only way to stop mass murderers is to eliminate all government funding for education and the entire Department of Justice!

That way, we'll all be too stupid to know which end of the gun shoots the bullets, and there won't be anyone to declare anything a crime anyway!

Every Day I Cannot Own a Self-Propelled Howitzer, Freedom Dies!

Robert Ariail, 7/25/12:

It's true -- pundits have already tried to dismantle our world-renowned (and exquisitely well-regulated) militias. We must fight back, and maintain our high level of regulation on those militias!

Jul 25, 2012

A True Second Amendment Warrior

Lisa Benson, 7/24/12:
That's right! That's right! Take away the Aurora shooter's tactical gear and heavy weaponry, and he still would have killed and wounded nearly a hundred people!

How? With his teeth, that's how! Remember: guns don't kill people -- people do, and those people are exactly as deadly without guns!

Really -- He IS Coming For Your Guns This Time! Honest!

Jake Fuller, 7/24/12:
Only "the Left" -- seemingly having just escaped from a looney bin -- could possibly want to limit the access of deranged Americans to tactical body armor, gas grenades, and high-powered weaponry.

The rest of us know it's our essential liberty to be shot at by the deranged!

Jul 24, 2012

Which Is Worse: A Sword or a Spleen?

Bob Gorrell, 7/23/12:
Duh: The gun, of course!

I mean, if someone comes up to you holding a brain, you're not going to be all that scared, are you?

And Stop Mixing Fibers In Your Clothing!

Terry Wise, 7/23/12:
Really, it's not Wise, or that Chik-Fil-A guy, that dislikes gay marriage, it's God himself.

And thus anyone in favor of gay marriage is a filthy heathen.

Jul 23, 2012

It's Only Political When It Helps MY Side

Eric Allie, 7/21/12:
When a man commits mass murder using completely legal high-powered weapons, gas grenades, and police-quality body armor, there is absolutely no public-policy aspect to that action, and only a liberal would disagree.

Also -- liberals are effete city-bred elitists, not like us good ol' boys with our huntin' rifles!

Some Men Just Want To MAKE the World Burn

Michael Ramirez, 7/21/12:
Remember -- spree shootings are entirely the fault of the crazy dude's parents, and have nothing to do with lax gun laws, or lack of mental health-care funding, or anything else that a government might have anything to do with.

The Country With The Most Guns Per Capita Clearly Doesn't Have ENOUGH!

Mike Lester, 7/21/12:
James Holmes picked the one theater in that Aurora complex without any law-abiding gun owners, because otherwise those stalwarts would have been able to pick him off in an instant, even though he had the advantages of acting first, throwing gas grenades, controlling the exit, superior body armor, higher firepower, and preparedness.

Remember: every shooting just means we need more guns!

There Ain't No Devil; It's Just God When He's Drunk

Clay Bennett, 7/20/12:
The police, as we all know, are a sinister and deeply liberal organization instinctively opposed to all forms of conservatism.

(Oh, and anyone who disagrees with Bennett must be crazy and/or stupid, too.)

Who Am I Kidding? I Can't Build a Cat.

Rob Smith, Jr., 7/20/12:
Anything that we don't create utterly without any help from anyone else in the world, or building on existing knowledge, is completely useless.

Also, y'know, government sucks! Anarchy now! Let the Randian job creators make their immortality potions in their entirely personally-owned and not at all government-connected research labs!

Bless This Bunker

Clay Bennett, 7/21/12:
The entire outside world is a crime scene, because crime never takes place within a residence.

Say...has anyone ever seen Bennett and Howard Hughes in the same place?

Voter Fraud Is Whenever Someone Votes For the Guy You Don't Like

Chuck Asay, 7/21/12:
Legitimate voters -- meaning white Christian property-owning men, since who else is legitimate? -- are outraged by having to stand in line with brown and black people, so any efforts to keep such riff-raff from voting can only be good.

At the Full-Service Terrorism Store, I Presume

Terry Wise, 7/21/12:
Gun laws just don't work, since there are other ways to kill people.

This argument can, if one wishes, be extended to apply to every single law ever devised by man. Anarchy now!

A Sad Thing Has Happened, And It Is Sad

Mike Keefe, 7/21/12:
When a tragedy occurs, Keefe will be there...to make a weak pun about it.

Jul 20, 2012


Chuck Asay, 7/19/12:
Obama has dictatorial powers; he can literally do anything he wants.

So he could fix the economy like that if he wanted to -- and he only doesn't because he's a Kenyan Marxist sleeper agent.

History Is Bunk -- and So Are Government Roads

Henry Payne, 7/19/12:
Ford not only created the car all by himself -- oh yes he did, don't go googling for counterexamples because only liberals use those newfangled computer thingies! -- he also created a car that didn't need no gummint roads, neither!

And he also famously paid his workers as little as he could get away with, because he didn't want any of them buying his cars.

Nobody Made ANYTHING in Galt's Gulch!

Nate Beeler, 7/19/12:
Just like the real-world Obama, Cartoon Obama is pointing to a piece of government-created infrastructure -- in this case, the sidewalk that delivers customers to this lemonade stand -- and noting that it was paid for my the entire community, and not by the l'il tykes hawking sugar water.

Slow and Tedious

Lisa Benson, 7/19/12:
America -- rich, solidly-employed and fundamentally contented -- is most concerned about a minor scandal involving gun trafficking, not about the Presidential election or anything to do with the economy.

The only thing that's more central to their minds: the mysterious death of Vince Foster!

If You Meet the Clown on the Road, Kill Him

Ed Gamble, 7/19/12:
Capital markets have completely seized up, leaving the US government unable to issue new debt.

(Actually, 10-year T-bills just had a record fourth negative yield, meaning that the US government actually makes money -- a tiny bit, to be sure, but money -- on the issuance of new debt.)

Jul 19, 2012

Two Dittoheads, Way Down!

Rob Tornoe, 7/18/12:
When real life doesn't give you enough material for your editorial cartoons, you can just imagine what someone you dislike might have said, and cartoon that!

Jul 18, 2012

The Moral Equivalent of a Bad Analogy

Glenn McCoy, 7/17/12:
Consensual sex between two adults in private is exactly the same as covering up the sexual abuse of children.


Pay No Attention to the Oil Companies in the Corner

Bob Gorrell, 7/17/12:
It is unusual and surprising when business interests both donate money to politicians and derive benefits from the government.

This explains why businesses are so unlikely to donate to political campaigns, and wouldn't dream of having "lobbying" offices in Washington to capture politician's attention.

The Trouble With Nowadays

Deb Milbrath, 7/17/12:
Down with those kids with their low-hanging jeans and their new-fangled devices!

Why, in my day we got our video from a TV set and our phone calls down a wire, as God and Ma Bell intended! And we liked it that way!

Jul 17, 2012

Never Stop Fighting Until the Fight Is Done

Bob Gorrell, 7/16/12:
Politicians are -- with the sole exception of a few bad apples from upstate Illinois -- gentle, innocent sorts, who would never say an unkind word against each other.

Loosest Slots in Town!

Signe Wilkinson, 7/16/12:
Gamblers are feeble-minded sorts, who just need a convenient way to lose their money in a socially acceptable way.

Jul 16, 2012

Is This the Cannonball Run?

Gary McCoy, 7/14/12:
Forcing people to cover their own expenses (when otherwise, under a Reagan-era law, they'd be paid for out of public tax money) is an unconscionable attack on liberty, because what is more central to freedom than free-loading?

Why Don't You Get a Job?

Glenn McCoy, 7/13/12:
Only government can create jobs, so we need a huge, expensive job-creation program, sponsored by the President, to get jobs going.

Maybe you could call it the American Jobs Act!

Stunned That Other People Have Differing Viewpoints

Terry Wise, 7/15/12:
Wise wishes to assert that anyone with skin darker than his, no matter what their background, is a plain old darkie, and their opinions are all best left unexpressed. (He secretly wishes he was still able to use his preferred term for them, as well.)

He also yearns for the days when such people were Pullman porters and you could belt your wife if she gave you any lip.

She Only Loves Him for His Money

Chuck Asay, 7/15/12:
And by "likes business people," we of course mean "has laws in place to stop mere workers from asking for more money or benefits".

Because you can't like business without hating workers!

Jul 13, 2012

Has Anyone Seen Mike Hunt?

Ken Catalino, 7/12/12:
Returning to '90s-era balanced budgets and PAYGO rules would be exactly like an '80s movie about '50s teenagers trying to get laid, in some way that only makes sense to Catalino.

(Of course, the Democrats aren't suggesting ending the Bush tax cuts for everyone in the first place, but you have to grant every artist his premise, however nutty it is.)

Blinded by Science

Gary Varvel, 7/12/12:
The Big Bang, of course. Where else would you expect a subatomic particle to come from?

The Party Most Noted For Uniformity of Opinion: Democrats!

Daryl Cagle, 7/12/12:
Without prompting from Obama, Democrats would never think to attempt to use Romney's financial secrecy and apparent use of dodgy tax havens against him -- after all, Romney's campaign has nothing to do with his financial acumen, right?

He'll Keep Trying Until It BECOMES Funny!

Milt Priggee, 7/12/12:
Too soon?

Or just too stupid?