Oct 31, 2011

Don't Even GUESS What He Did to Mr. Tumnus!

Jeff Stahler, 10/30/11:
Please tell me that Stahler doesn't think that Aslan -- explicitly the Jesus-analogue for the fantasy realm of Narnia, who dies and comes back to life to save his people -- is a pet.

Bearish on Protests

Jeff Koterba, 10/28/11:
The Occupy Wall Street protests are actually a fiendish scheme on the part of bearish investors to drive stock prices down, presumably so their short-selling programmed trades can rake in billions.

Either that, or actual bears are gathered outside Warren Buffett's house -- Koterba cartoons from Omaha -- with vaguely specified economic demands.

Guns Don't Kill People, People USE Guns To Kill People

Joe Heller, 10/29/11:
Gosh! It's almost as if a concealed handgun is a dangerous weapon, and that people really don't want to have hidden dangerous weapons around them!

Who could ever have foreseen that?

Oct 30, 2011

The Oldest Medium of Exchange

Gustavo Rodriguez, 10/29/11:
Ha, ha! Cuba has no functioning economy, and its women are forced into prostitution!

It's funny!

And the Shadows Keep Falling

Chuck Asay, 10/29/11:
The only way to keep the slavering Muslim hordes from creeping into the beds of decent Americans and slitting their throats is to maintain a state of eternal war, keeping hundreds of thousands of troops overseas and killing as many of them (before they kill us!) as possible.

Some losses are only to be expected.

Oct 29, 2011

Trick or Treat?

Ann Cleaves, 10/29/11:
I have no idea what Cleaves uses for inspiration, but we could use a bit more of it around here, if you know what I mean.

As far as I can tell, this is just a demented "Hey, Halloween is coming!" cartoon. But if anyone wants to claim that, for example, the giant girly-drink represents the fruitiness of the American capitalist system and the zombie is the depraved hordes of grasping, brainless Occupy Wall Street, please, go ahead.

The Right Hand Giveth, and the Left Hand Taketh Away

Chuck Asay, 10/28/11:
Anyone else find it terribly disingenuous for Asay to complain about the stinginess of government programs that he'd rather see killed entirely?

And, gosh, how horrible for those old people! "Oh, you're just giving me more money? Oh, but I have to pay a tiny bit more for my nearly-free healthcare! I'm going to drown the government in a bathtub for that!"

The Little Playhouse on the Op-Ed Page Presents

Anne Cleaves, 10/28/11:
A thrilling new staging of Shakespeare's most famous play, featuring Barack Obama as Hamlet, some owl as comic relief, and some dude in a motorcycle helmet as the second gravedigger!

No, seriously -- what is this cartoon about?

Fractured Fairy Tales

Gary Varvel, 10/28/11:
Every single unemployed person is a young slacker -- no exceptions.

Get a job, you dirty hippie!

Oct 28, 2011

Bank On It

Russell Hodin, 10/27/11:
Every once in a while, I like to post a cartoon that's actually good -- clever, with a distinctive style and something particular to say. This is one of those cartoons.

Burn Him Anyway!

Ken Catalino, 10/26/11:
Forget all that talk about Obama being a Kenyan Marxist sleeper agent, he's actually a satanic fiend from the deepest pits of hell!

Oh, and, yeah, Occupy Wall Street sucks too. But Obama is a witch!

One Leak Will Sink a Ship

Paul Zanetti, 10/26/11:
Wikileaks is running out of money, you may have heard, primarily because the US government pressured US banks to stop processing transactions for it, which cut off 95% of its income stream.

Meanwhile, in Zanetti's native Australia, computers run on blood money -- akin to the magic black smoke we know about up here; let it out and the computers stop working -- and so that's what he assumes must have happened in this case.

Oct 27, 2011

The Tinkertoys Come Next

Adam Zyglis, 10/26/11:
Hands up, everyone who's chomping at the bit to vacation in sunny Buffalo next year!

And what about their fabulous heritage -- not every city can boast a team that lost four Super Bowls in a row!

It's Your Own Damn Fault!

Chuck Asay, 10/26/11:
If a bank forecloses on the mortgage it doesn't hold and tries to throw you out of your home, it must be your fault.

So shut up and take it, peasant. Real men don't complain about anything.

(Note that Republicans really do want dirty air and less health care; apparently Asay doesn't think either of them are anything we should worry about.)

Hello, Pun'kin!

Randy Bish, 10/26/11:
Um...only a pumpkin-head would vote for Obama?

I bet the jack-o-lantern's expressions is supposed to be meaningful, but I can't tell if he's smiling or crying.

One Less Mouth to Feed Is One Less Mouth to Feed

Matt Davies, 10/26/11:
Isn't it horrible that those people we don't like are having so many babies?

Oct 26, 2011

We All Go a Little Mad Sometimes

Clay Bennett, 10/25/11:
The Tea Party plan for balancing the budget relies far more heavily than it should on the continued influx of attractive young blonde women who have just stolen a large sum of money from a bank.

No, wait -- isn't it Occupy Wall Street that wants to steal from banks? Maybe the Tea Party just wants to kill blonde girls and pretend to be their own mothers.

What Passes for Reasoned Discourse

Tim Campbell, 10/25/11:
Campbell would like it to be known that the current bunch of protestors are stinky doo-doo heads, and, if the media pays any more attention to them, he's going to hold his breath until they go away.

Note that Hell Has Rolling Racks

Graeme Mackay, 10/23/11:
This may be a minor theological point, but I believe that in most conceptions of the Christian Hell -- and that's what Gadaffi's in, despite his own religion -- the damned souls are tortured, and fallen angels are the torturers.

But, here, Gadaffi is apparently being given an immediate battlefield promotion from the ranks of those stabbed with pitchforks to those doing the stabbing. I suspect Mackay did not intend this, but it's what he drew.

Hell No, We Won't Go

Mike Luckovich, 10/23/11:
Occupy Wall Street is actually a fiendish plot by radical Islamic al Qaeda factions to topple the American banking system -- the last bulwark of truth and honesty in the world -- and impose a horrible dystopia of Sharia law.

And you know, somewhere out there, there's an Op-Ed piece arguing exactly that -- and he's serious.

Whatever It Is, He's Against It

Glenn McCoy, 10/24/11:
Wait -- I thought it was Obama's fault that Libya is now a lawless wasteland, riven by factional violence?

How could they already have a government? Oh, right: they don't; it's just McCoy projecting again.

At least we can all agree on one thing, right? That, whatever happens anywhere, it's bad and it's all Obama's fault.

Oct 25, 2011

How Many Representatives Did Hooverville Have?

Matt Wuerker, 10/2/411:
Any political movement that doesn't immediately -- in barely a month, ahead of the next scheduled election -- lead to direct representation in the halls of government is utterly useless.

Alternatively, Wuerker is implying that we can all just get the government to do whatever we want, just by exertion of will.

You're Probably Expecting a Dyke Joke Here

Tom Toles, 10/24/11:
Water flows freely through human flesh, hideously distorting any person who comes into the slightest contact with that demon substance.

Didn't you know that?

Oct 24, 2011

Not at ALL Racist, Oh No!

Michael Ramirez, 10/24/11:
Booga Booga Booga! Scary brown people!

The Arabs are coming to take your precious bodily fluids!!!!!

If you're not terrified of your own shadow, than Ramirez has simply not done his job.

Great Minds Google Alike

If you do a Google Image search for "Pan Am 103" -- as dozens of this nation's top editorial cartoonists apparently did last week -- the very first image that comes up is this:

Now, let's compare:

Bruce Plante, 10/21/11:

Plante redraws the photo, and his caption expresses the usual American thought: the deaths of white people, particularly those from our country, are vastly more important than whatever might happen in those countries full of brown folks.

Gary Varvel, 10/21/11:
Varvel redraws the photo of the downed jet, and adds a punchline, in the form of a strained pun.

John Branch, 10/21/11:
Branch actually adds a second drawing to explicitly draw a (rather simplistic, true) parallel rather than letting it be implied.

(Be happy: I spared you all of the tedious "Gadaffi in Hell" cartoons, and all of the sad jokes about the spelling of his name.)