If This Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Wright

Jeff Stahler, 2/7/12:

Dude! If, like, the Tour de France let those racer smoke some righteous bud, it would be totally mellow and utterly awesome, and, like, they'd come up with totally bitchin' ideas to totally save the world 'n stuff!

Handouts

Terry Wise, 2/7/12:

When will poor people realize that rich people simply know better than they do?

They'll tell you what you get, poor people! You don't get to decide anything -- that's what being poor means!

Be Vewwy Vewwy Quiet

Phil Hands, 2/6/12:

Hey, c'mon! Wolves are big & scary and slaughter livestock, don't they?

And, even worse, they transform into shirtless Taylor Lautner twinks, so it's best to shoot as many of them as you can!

From Small Things, Mamma

Milt Priggee, 2/6/12:

Since poverty is such an overwhelmingly huge problem, it's foolish to do anything to try to fix it.

Just let those brown people die, Bill! And spend your time doing something more useful, like counting all of that money and demanding lower taxes on it!

Isn't the Obamacare Thing About Hospitals, Anyway?

Eric Allie, 2/3/12:

Yes, what identifies Occupy Wall Street most is its continued insistence on providing condoms to Catholic-school children.

Wait, what?

Real Americans Don't Need Healthcare!

Chuck Asay, 2/4/12:

Death panels! Death panels! Booga booga booga!

The liberals are going to kill you old people if you don't vote for the guys that want to gut Medicare!

Paging Anne McCaffrey

Chuck Asay, 2/4/12:

The coming election will be entirely about how horrible it is that poor people now have a slightly better chance of getting health care.

That Is a Quite Unlikely License Plate

Gary Varvel, 2/3/12:

Either this cartoon is meant to demand that football be abolished, because it causes prostitution, or...that guy is supposed to be a caricature of someone I don't recognize.

Oh No! The Unspecified Thing Is In Danger From the Cartoon Pirate!

Anne Cleaves, 2/3/12:

Watch out! Swarthy, mustachioed Spaniards are lurking in the ventilation ducts of our top research labs, ready to steal deadly whatevers!

Material Boys

Nate Beeler, 2/3/12:

Ha-ha! Madonna is not as young as she used to be!

And women are only valuable or interesting as long as they're sexually attractive to doughy, couch-potato men!

Drill, Baby, Drill!

Peter Evans, 2/2/12:

OK, so the guy in the adidas tracksuit is probably Castro, so does that make Mr. Medals there on the right Raul Castro?

And is the "crisis" a thing which hasn't actually happened, since that deepwater well in Cuban just started drilling (maybe)?

And, most importantly, is this an indication that the Cuban Missile Crisis is the only thing Evans has ever heard of in connection with Cuba?

Rage in the Cage

Dan Wasserman, 1/31/12:

I desperately hope Wasserman is intending to draw a comparison between serial wife-switcher Gingrich and staid Mormon homebody Romney, because the alternative -- that they're about to engage in some marital activity of their own -- is too shudder-inducing to contemplate.

Doing the Dishes

Dick Locher, 1/31/12:

Locher takes the bold step of getting his Super Bowl cartoon in nearly a week ahead of the big game, so as to give him more time to rest afterward.

Also bold: having no joke, no political content, and two characters furiously agreeing.

A Fine Specimen

Pat Oliphant, 1/31/12:

Newt Gingrich is easily led and always on-message as he follows the script given to him by others.

That's the Newtie we all know and love, right?

Them Folks Iz Named Funny, Mamma!

Stuart Carlson, 1/30/12:

Funny names are Unamerican, and parents should be forced by law to name their children honest, God-fearing, upstanding names out of the bible, like Zippor and Nimrod.

Bilateral Yuks

Chuck Asay, 1/30/12:

Talking is for sissies and women; real men just do whatever they want -- and they just kill their enemies as soon as they can.

Roach Coach: The National Tour!

Lisa Benson, 1/27/12:

The current Republican primary system, full of debates, is entirely a manufactured product of the anti-American lamestream media -- the candidates themselves would much rather quietly let Americans go to the polls and pick the leader they would prefer.

No, wait -- strike that and reverse it.

E Pluribus Eaglets, Unum Headache

Clay Bennett, 1/27/12:

The US eagle has had a litter (clutch? what's the collective noun for baby eagles, anyway?) -- which, to fit the metaphor, really should be younger democracies -- which are now hungry for something-or-other.

OK, I'm stumped. Are those little birdies supposed to be the various demanding constituencies of the government, or greedy federal bureaucrats, or reactionary Tea Party-ists, or whiny Occupy brats, or our many foreign wars, or the economic health of the European Union, or what?

The Map Is the Territory

John R. Rose, 1/26/12:

Boehner is perfectly happy to go along with Obama's "road map" -- which presumably has particular goals in mind -- but quibbles about the means.

Or perhaps Rose was looking for a nice, parallel turn of phrase that doesn't really work.

Play It, Satchmo!

Bado, 1/28/12:

It's quite simple, really: in the American system, the Senate defines all action, and the President's role is to perform according to their plan, while the House stops that activity as much as possible.

You know, there's aspects of that which seem almost true!

Dog Bites Man

Chuck Asay, 1/27/12:

The primary damage that Newt Gingrich has done over the past several months has been to the US media -- which are now a tattered, diminished shell of what they were six months back -- and not to his own image, or to that of the Republican party in general.

Count on the English for a King Canute Reference, Every Time

Kevin Kallaugher, 1/27/12:

From Kallaugher's side of the Atlantic -- he cartoons for the venerable Economist -- it's clear that the coming election will be an overwhelming Republican wave, and whoever is nominated to run against Obama will beat him handily.

Remember this when you make any predictions about anyone else's elections.

Wet Work on the Hill

Chan Lowe, 1/27/12:

The only hope our government has is if the President calls on his highly-trained killers and has them liquidate the opposition in Congress.

Flee! Flee the Horror of the Cart!

Bruce Plante, 1/26/12:

The citizens of Tulsa are quite easily frightened, and can tolerate not even the slightest deviation in their usual daily habits.

Also, they call garbage cans "carts," for their own inscrutable reasons.

Farting Rainbows

Nate Beeler, 1/26/12:

The country is in fantastic shape, everything is just shy of absolute perfection, but Obama -- demanding more in all things -- will not rest until the last blemish is corrected.