A Death Is a Death, Right?

Nate Beeler, 1/13/13:

Gosh, it's almost as if the USA were one country, with a central federalized government controlling interstate commerce! And that both people and physical objects -- like guns that are legal in other parts of the country -- can travel into area of tighter regulation without any border crossings to stop them!

But that must not be true -- we're a loose confederation of city-states, each with total control of its own import-export, right?

Using the Google

Hap Pitkin, 1/11/13:

Of course you'll get no hits on Google if you can't even spell "homicide."

And noting that a county with less than 300,000 residents and only Boulder as something approximating a city has fewer deaths than places with ten times as many people -- particularly since the links he mentions are for metropolitan areas -- partially explains why Pitkin cartoons from Boulder, and not some more high-paced mecca.

Lastly, is he using a circa-2000 clamshell Mac notebook there?

Tear the Roof Off the Sucker

Nate Beeler, 1/11/13:

Oh, no -- not again.

FX: heavy sigh.

The debt ceiling has nothing at all to do with the budget -- Congress already voted on, and passed, legislation to set both spending and revenue for this year. It has to do with paying for what Congress has already agreed to. It's purely implementation, and it's an additional step that no other major economy has, because it's entirely superfluous.

Now, if Congress wants to introduce a balanced budget this year -- either by actually raising enough revenue to pay for the things that Americans want to get from their government, or finding a way to deliver those things substantially more cheaply -- they could certainly do that. But what they're complaining about now is signing the credit card bill after having eaten dinner, which only deadbeats do.

Root Root Root for the Home Team

Randy Bish, 1/11/13:

Here's a case where a cartoon shockingly isn't labeled enough!

Are we to assume that all three needles stand for "Steroids" -- and so that using steroids three times should invalidate one's sports achievements?

Or, if not, what do the other two "strikes" stand for?

And, if so, what if Clemens, for example, admits he used steroids...but only twice?

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow

Dick Locher, 1/11/13:

Everything is absolutely horrible and will be horrible from now on, so stupid optimists should just shut up with their stupid optimism!

A fact which may not be unrelated: Dick Locher was born in 1929.

Addicted to Breathing

Bob Gorrell, 1/10/13:

The big problem with the government -- or maybe just with a government run by Democrats -- is that it spends money. If only it didn't do that, Gorrell might be able to tolerate it.

Huh! Good God!

Bill Day, 1/9/13:

War is not just bigger and more expensive than peace, it's just plain cooler!

I can't tell: is this a Hagel-for-SecDef cartoon, a let's-invade-Syria cartoon, or just a generic I-love-war cartoon?

Any Club That Would Have Me As a Member

Chuck Asay, 1/9/13:

Asay gets to decide who is a Republican and who isn't. Apply to him for permission, and he'll let you know if you're in.

Break It Down -- Stop!

Bob Gorrell, 1/9/13:

If we're breaking down murders by specific models of guns, shouldn't we do the same for hammers?

I mean, are Craftsmen more likely to smash in skulls than Black & Decker? Are ball-peen hammers more likely to be picked up in a fit of rage?

Of Course, Some People Do Go Both Ways

Paul Berge, 1/9/13:

Now, Berge isn't saying that lesbians are sluts...wait, no, actually I'm pretty sure he is.

And I'm sure the libertarians will soon rise up to protest this heinous abrogation of a sacred contract, right?

That One Guy Has Some Serious Anger Issues

Steve Kelley, 1/9/13:

"...and all four of those murderous devices are used about the same amount, right? I mean, it would look really bad if guns were consistently used in two-thirds of all US murders, and if the overall murder rate were substantially lower in similar countries with more gun restrictions."

"Good thing I'm an editorial cartoonist, and not restricted by facts!"

Call Me, Beep Me, If Ya Wanna Reach Me

Lisa Benson, 1/9/13:

Obama voters are not just stupid, ill-informed cretins, but, also -- no, no, I can't say it! -- Apple fans!

But why is the cord from that tablet going into his pants pocket? What kind of device does he have hooked up there?

Laminate Man

Eric Allie, 1/8/13:

Yes, Gregory's media connections have completely shielded him from any coverage of his high-capacity clip shenanigans, since the case was just turned over to the prosecutors today.

Honestly, if you're going to complain that the police give a media personality a free pass, it's much better to wait until they actually give him a free pass. It's really not that difficult to understand.

Send an Ambulance! This Kong Has Escaped!

Steve Benson, 1/8/13:

We haven't had a "Best Labeled" here in a while, but Benson totally nails it.

If only he could have figured out something to label the Congressional Rotunda (the Second Amendment? American passivity? violent videogames?) it could have been absolutely perfect.

Points for Not Being Sexist, I Suppose

Terry Wise, 1/8/13:

...because budgeting for a national government is exactly like the monthly budget for a married couple, down to the hundreds of billions of dollars in weapons systems.

Also, because debt is fully inheritable.

Fresh Fruit Not Good Enough For You, Eh!

Bob Gorrell, 1/8/13:

There is nothing more offensive to Republicans than nominating one of their own ex-Senators -- considered a great choice for a cabinet position by GOP candidate John McCain just a few years back -- for a cabinet slot in a Democratic administration.

Why can't Democrats stick to nominating Democrats, so the Republicans can use all of their carefully saved up talking points?

Here Comes the Story of the Hurricane

Jeff Denziger, 1/7/13:

Southerners are fat, lazy, and biased. Also, stinky doo-doo heads.

Businesses Must Never Be Sold!

Signe Wilkinson, 1/7/13:

Selling out to a Muslim company will turn you into Chairman Mao!

(I was expecting a lot more selling-us-lefties-out, and a lot less bloated-plutocrat from the progressive complaints against Gore, but it's nice to see that Wilkinson agrees with Bob Gorrell on at least one thing: foreigners are evil!)

Red Hat Society

Chip Bok, 1/4/13:

Raising taxes on income over $400,000 a year by a few points -- until it's nearly as high as it was in the 90s! -- is exactly the same as the Holocaust.

If There's a Trigger Somewhere Let's Pull It

Mike Lester, 1/4/13:

A machine designed specifically to kill lots of human beings quickly is exactly the same as another machine that can kill multiple human beings when it fails.

Outlaw airplanes! Outlaw harvesters! Outlaw buildings! (since they sometimes collapse)

Just Another Bum from the Neighborhood

Chuck Asay, 1/4/13:

The US military, which is now down to only 41% of total world military spending, is dangerously underweight compared to programs that spend, at most, a fifth of what it does.

Also, aside from ending wars, defense spending isn't actually down to begin with.

Now Who's Punishing Success?

Bob Gorrell, 1/5/13:

It is morally wrong for Americans to sell their businesses to foreign interests!

And we'll see Gorrell continue this strong stand when other Americans sell their companies to foreigners, right?

(Also, the whole icky Muslims thing.)

His Life Was at the Mercy of Their Hands

Chuck Asay, 1/6/13:

Asay doesn't necessarily disagree with Sen. Hoyer, mind you: he's just concerned that Democratic Senators shouldn't be giving ideas to foreign dictators.

So, please: no more figurative language from any politicians, for fear it may be taken the wrong way!

If I Never See Another Cliff in a Cartoon

Jeff Koterba, 1/2/13:

"Spending" is a horrible disaster for any government! The only hope is to eliminate "spending" all together!

...if you want to be Somalia.

Bad Metaphor Theater Presents

Terry Wise, 1/3/12:

Republicans will not rest until every potential pregnancy is brought to term.

Also, choosing a health-care procedure is just like murdering over two dozen strangers.

(And the analogy should be on specific medial equipment used in an abortion, anyway, if Wise meant more than a half-assed attempt at moral equivalency.)