Oil Is Thicker Than Brains

Chuck Asay, 3/22/12 -- yes, again!:

Gosh, it couldn't have anything to do with the fact that petroleum products are sold on a global market, and other countries are buying them as well, could it?

Nah, must be the black guy's fault!

Distractions

Peter Evans, 3/22/12:

It must be because those godless heathens just unblessed the roads!

Meanwhile, On Earth-237

Chuck Asay, 3/22/12:

In case you didn't notice, women are just flocking to the Republican party, because they want their employers to be able to deny them health care at will and they all secretly yearn to be violated by a vaginal ultrasound wand.

In other news from Asay World, the sky is still green.

Daisey, Daisey, Give Me Your Answer Do

John Cole, 3/22/12:

Anyone else wonder if this was a half-baked Limbaugh cartoon that Cole back-burnered last week when it didn't quite gel, and then quickly updated?

Also, note that the old cartoon shorthand, fat = evil.

He's Got Crazy Flipper Fingers

Dick Locher, 3/22/12:

Now, I could be wrong here, but...isn't all of the criticism of Obama not fulfilling his promises -- and thus "flip-flopping" -- from his left?

I have a hard time seeing Locher complaining about Guantanamo not being closed and the gleeful declaration that we can assassinate target American citizens anywhere in the world.

They're Biting Early This Year

Scott Stantis, 3/21/12:

Pro Tip: If you want your cartoon to stand alone without a caption, it's best not to have a character standing in a prominent spot with his mouth open.

I Usually Spell "Wakka" With Two Ks

Pat Bagley, 3/21/12:

Bagley has just invented the generic editorial cartoon, suitable for absolutely any occasion: panel one shows the politician you don't like, saying something about his policy, and then...WAKA WAKA WAKA!

Try it out: it works on anything!

Where Are the Other Five Blind Men?

Tom Toles, 3/20/12:

Don't believe the evidence of your eyes -- that's not an elephant, it's a car carrier!

And I assume there's a "let Detroit go bankrupt" joke lurking somewhere in there, but I'm damned if I can find it.

Every Single One of the 100,000 Civilian Deaths In Iraq Was a Regrettable Accident

Ken Catalino, 3/20/12:

When one of our highly-trained killers goes bananas and slaughters a dozen or so people, it's purely because his poetic soul has been irrevocably damaged by the horrors of fighting swarthy people around the globe.

When they kill our people, on the other hand, it's because they're evil bloodthirsty barbarians.

(Assignments of "us" and "them" subject to local variation.)

Note How Incredibly Specific He Is

Bob Gorrell, 3/20/12:

Sure thing! How about we start with the bloated military budget? It's vastly larger than that of any other advanced economy, and nearly equal to what the rest of the world spends combined.

If You Want Three Opinions, Ask Two Doctors

Tom Toles, 3/19/12:

This cartoon would make sense -- this is my fervent hope -- if only we knew who "they" are. Is it Obama and his people? Is it the Republicans? Is it the public at large?

The cartoon seems to be saying it's the GOP seeking that "third opinion," but that echo of doctors and hoped-for miracle cures doesn't fit at all with their hopes for "Obamacare." Once you've got the body in the coffin, you stop asking doctors -- and they want that body in the coffin.

I suspect there might be a better, but more blasphemous, cartoon coming on this topic in a few weeks, when Easter rolls around.

Speaking of Swallowing Something....

Tim Campbell, 3/16/12:

Try not to notice that they're not the same ten years, or that a law that takes a few years to phase in will naturally cost more in those later years, when it's fully in force. (Or that the new estimate conspicuously omits expected savings in other areas.)

I'd Like to Poison Your Mind With Wrong Ideas That Appeal to You

Matt Bors, 3/19/12:

A former political leader -- who relinquished power at the end of his democratically-elected term -- who fought "bad" wars in "bad" ways is exactly the same as a genocidal warlord, and anyone who disagrees is insufficiently morally pure.

Ignorance *IS* Strength!

Rob Smith, Jr., 3/17/12:

What you don't know can't hurt you.

And Smith means that literally -- that people will only get upset, or sick, or injured, by things that they know about. So that means, logically, that if we teach our kids only about abstinence, they physically can't get pregnant, and if we ignore all emissions controls, our air will never make anyone sick.

Riding...with DEATH!

Kirk Walters, 3/16/12:

All hitchhikers will cause your immediate death -- no exceptions.

And How About a Little "Literacy Test," Too?

Ed Gamble, 3/16/12:

There are no situations where a government has higher responsibilities, and more concern over the rights of citizens, than a private business does.

For example, when we talk about the right of free speech, that means that not only can't the government stop you from speaking, ABC is required to give you TV time!

All Cowboys Ain't Dumb

Dick Locher, 3/16/12:

So Super PAC Money is bucking Elections off of itself? And then Elections will fall, face-first, onto the Hard Concrete Floor of the Electorate?

Can anyone make any sense of this metaphor?

You Might Be a Redneck

Bruce Plante, 3/14/12:

Ha ha! All of those people look the same, right?!

Unsinkable

Ken Catalino, 3/13/12:

Ah, a cartoon with the crisp clarity of a Yield sign: New Stimulus Spending Proposals -- not their actual enactment as law, or anything, just the proposals -- will utterly destroy Long-Term Growth. Forever, presumably.

Well, since those proposals already exist, I suppose we're screwed -- all long-term growth, everywhere, has just stopped.

You're It!

Dick Locher, 3/13/12:

Obama's presidential campaign -- note the "2012" on his shirt -- is trying to hand off the entire economy to a reluctant, spastic runner who represents the Nixon-era "silent majority."

Huh?!

And, seriously, has anyone talked about the Silent Majority seriously since Spiro Agnew shuffled off this mortal coil?

When in Doubt, Double Down on Piety

Lisa Benson, 3/13/12:

Exactly! When you deny women healthcare coverage that includes contraception, you're naturally going to see an increase in the number of abortions, right?

Somehow, I don't think that's what Benson meant to say.

Lucian Freud, We Hardly Knew Ye

Dwayne Booth, 3/10/12:

Ooooh, now here's a strong frontrunner for Worst Cartoon of the Year, and it's only mid-March.

Let's count the ways:

• no discernible point other than unearned scorn
• ugly, ugly drawing
• text is difficult to read
• no joke whatsoever
• takes my home state's majestic icon, the Jersey Devil, in vain

Where's Buddy Rich When You Need Him?

Who would have expected two "drums of war" cartoons on March 12th, of all days?

But we got them, from R.J. Matson:

And from Adam Zyglis:

Luckily, they have different drums being beaten, so they don't get the dreaded "great minds think alike" tag.

With Luck, The Very Last "Super Tuesday" Cartoon

John R. Rose, 3/9/12:

That is the absolutely worst caricature of Santorum that I've ever seen -- it doesn't look like him at all.

Would it have killed Rose to at least put him in a sweater vest?

Didn't Even Try To Work in a Solyndra Reference, Tsk-Tsk

Rob Smith, Jr., 3/10/12:

Smith really, really hates Obama, and projects his feelings of overwhelming anger onto how he wishes the President would react to things.

I haven't found any news story of Obama even mentioning the flares, though several satire sites say that the Republican candidates are blaming him for them.

Also: is Obama a world-devouring giant, or does he have teeny-tiny staffers?