Jan 31, 2012

Them Folks Iz Named Funny, Mamma!

Stuart Carlson, 1/30/12:
Funny names are Unamerican, and parents should be forced by law to name their children honest, God-fearing, upstanding names out of the bible, like Zippor and Nimrod.

Bilateral Yuks

Chuck Asay, 1/30/12:
Talking is for sissies and women; real men just do whatever they want -- and they just kill their enemies as soon as they can.

Jan 30, 2012

Roach Coach: The National Tour!

Lisa Benson, 1/27/12:
The current Republican primary system, full of debates, is entirely a manufactured product of the anti-American lamestream media -- the candidates themselves would much rather quietly let Americans go to the polls and pick the leader they would prefer.

No, wait -- strike that and reverse it.

E Pluribus Eaglets, Unum Headache

Clay Bennett, 1/27/12:
The US eagle has had a litter (clutch? what's the collective noun for baby eagles, anyway?) -- which, to fit the metaphor, really should be younger democracies -- which are now hungry for something-or-other.

OK, I'm stumped. Are those little birdies supposed to be the various demanding constituencies of the government, or greedy federal bureaucrats, or reactionary Tea Party-ists, or whiny Occupy brats, or our many foreign wars, or the economic health of the European Union, or what?

The Map Is the Territory

John R. Rose, 1/26/12:
Boehner is perfectly happy to go along with Obama's "road map" -- which presumably has particular goals in mind -- but quibbles about the means.

Or perhaps Rose was looking for a nice, parallel turn of phrase that doesn't really work.

Play It, Satchmo!

Bado, 1/28/12:
It's quite simple, really: in the American system, the Senate defines all action, and the President's role is to perform according to their plan, while the House stops that activity as much as possible.

You know, there's aspects of that which seem almost true!

Dog Bites Man

Chuck Asay, 1/27/12:
The primary damage that Newt Gingrich has done over the past several months has been to the US media -- which are now a tattered, diminished shell of what they were six months back -- and not to his own image, or to that of the Republican party in general.

Count on the English for a King Canute Reference, Every Time

Kevin Kallaugher, 1/27/12:
From Kallaugher's side of the Atlantic -- he cartoons for the venerable Economist -- it's clear that the coming election will be an overwhelming Republican wave, and whoever is nominated to run against Obama will beat him handily.

Remember this when you make any predictions about anyone else's elections.

Wet Work on the Hill

Chan Lowe, 1/27/12:
The only hope our government has is if the President calls on his highly-trained killers and has them liquidate the opposition in Congress.

Jan 27, 2012

Flee! Flee the Horror of the Cart!

Bruce Plante, 1/26/12:
The citizens of Tulsa are quite easily frightened, and can tolerate not even the slightest deviation in their usual daily habits.

Also, they call garbage cans "carts," for their own inscrutable reasons.

Farting Rainbows

Nate Beeler, 1/26/12:
The country is in fantastic shape, everything is just shy of absolute perfection, but Obama -- demanding more in all things -- will not rest until the last blemish is corrected.

Cue the Benny Hill Music

Chuck Asay, 1/26/12:
Any source of energy that doesn't have to be torn from the living earth by burly, manly men is utterly unworthy of Americans.

And you'd better remember that, bub!

Jan 26, 2012

Where Did All Those Table Lamps Come From?

Michael Ramirez, 1/25/12:
In honor of this, Editorial Explanations's gala 1000th post, we present the very first CHOOSE! YOUR! OWN! EXPLANATION!

Is it...
a) Obama has declared Congress to be permanently "out of session" and seized dictatorial power.

b) The country is in utter ruins -- The Road-level devastation and death -- due to the evil machinations of Mr. Big Ears there.


c) The rich really did make him do it -- he's a sleeper Bain Capital agent.

Look for the "State of the Union" Label

Ed Gamble, 1/25/12:
We can always count on Gamble to draw a bunch of lumpy-faced, unattractive people saying what was supposed to be subtext out loud.

Sadly, this time he seems to have forgotten that there's supposed to be a joke.

Oh, I'm Comfortable

Jack Ohman, 1/25/12:
Whoever designed that form should be canned...or, maybe, forced to work for the real IRS.

Also, it reminds us all of the canonical 1040 joke:
  • Line 1: How much did you make last year?
  • Line 2: Send it in.

Lifeboat Rules Apply

Pat Oliphant, 1/25/12:
Yes, all of Congress has unanimously abandoned the ship of government to flee to the coast of Italy.

Because, if there's one thing we know about the current Congress, it's that they get along really well and agree with each other!

Jan 25, 2012

What Do We Want? {Insert Here}! When Do We Want It? Now!

Ted Rall, 1/25/12:
Anyone who wants any substantial change in society must be willing to commit any available act of violence.

Or else you're just a wuss and a poser.

Mistakes Were Made

Tim Hartman, 1/24/12:
"...and what's a little ignoring child rape, anyway! The important thing is that you won football games!"

Up Up and Away!

Peter Dunlap-Shohl, 1/24/12:

Of course Newt is a yellow-clad superhero who saves the GOP elephant from the evil Tar Pits of La Mitt.

What else could he possibly be?

Blandness Marred by Incompetence

John Auchter, 1/24/12:
There is one -- and only one -- Democrat and Republican each in Michigan, and the Governor is neither one of them.

This message is brought to you by misplaced apostrophes, and your nation's embattled editors.

Jan 24, 2012

Things Are More Like They Are Now Than They Ever Were

Ann Cleaves, 1/23/12:
Modern life sure is confusing, particularly for people who only believe the last thing they've heard.

Also, Bonanza has been off the air for thirty-eight years. Can't we use a slightly newer old-fart marker, like Matlock or Murder, She Wrote? (What is the official old-fart show currently on TV these days, I wonder?)

Jan 23, 2012

Open Marriage Mitt, Take Two

Mike Peters, 1/20/12:
Gustavo Rodriguez, 1/20/12:
"It's not you -- it's me. I need to see other people -- crazier, nuttier people."

I'm surprised Santorum hasn't made more hay out of this issue -- it's right up his gay-marriage-leads-to-polygamy-leads-to-sex-with-animals alley.

Hit 'em High! Hit 'em Low! (Really Low!)

Steve Benson, 1/19/12:
Did you know that Satan plays for New England?

Also, Jesus is a star running back for Indianapolis, Buddha was recently cut as a kicker for Baltimore, and Muhammad was a walk-on linesman for Seattle back in '06.

The Grass is Always Greenest Over the Septic Tank

Mike Lester, 1/20/12:
Note that, in Lester's world, the Keystone pipeline comes from "America."

Is that like how Rick Perry said it would reduce US dependence on foreign oil?

(And also, if you have the time, check in to see where that Keystone oil would go anyway.)

Copy-and-Paste In Our Time

Bob Gorrell, 1/20/12:
And this is the very first time you're hearing about those first three stories, because the "mainstream media" completely buried them and never reported on any of them at all.


He May Not Be the Best, But He's Large, and He's Mine

Nate Beeler, 1/22/12:
Deficit spending is a mind-boggling new tactic for the US government, never before even countenanced by previous administrations.

And it has nothing to do with Medicare Part D, or wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, or the 2001 tax cuts -- deficits are caused entirely by spending by liberals, of course!

Next He'll Talk About the Teeth-Whitening Effects

Signe Wilkinson, 1/20/12:
Yes, an actual functionary of the PA Department of Public Welfare did publicly tout "the miraculous effects of semen" in a column for a conservative journal. (Though it sounds like a fratboy's last-ditch pickup line, late on a Saturday night.)

And he had to quit his job over it, too.

Open Marriage Mitt, Take One

Ed Stein, 1/21/12:
Tony Auth, 1/22/12:
Is the elephant in the middle, or over to one side? Is she more hangdog or battleaxe? Oh, the artistic possibilities!

The Great Shroud of the Sea Rolled On

John R. Rose, 1/20/12:
The US economy, as we can all see, was destroyed with all hands recently, and only Obama lived to tell the tale.

Remember, cartoonists: just because you can compare two things, that doesn't mean they make any sense.

Jan 20, 2012

Religious Duties

Chuck Asay, 1/19/12:
And Jesus said unto them, "If the teacher in thine religious school become sick, and fall unto sleep in the classroom, then shalt you cast her out, yea, even without a penny. And thou shalt fight, even unto the highest court in the land, your right to cast her out. For thou are the Hosanna-Tabor Evangelical Lutheran Church and School, and you shall do as thou damn well please."

And the woman asked him, "Teacher, should not we succor the sick?"

And Jesus spat on the ground, saying "My children, do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law."

Worth AT LEAST a Bucket of Warm Spit

John R. Rose, 1/19/12:

Some random people, probably not including the eventual candidate, have said that some local politician might possibly be in consideration for the Vice Presidential slot on the ticket!


Please try to contain your overflowing enthusiasm!

Jan 19, 2012

He's Dead! Murdered! And Someone's Responsible!

Olle Johansson, 1/18/2012:
Sweden's Johansson takes the bold step of idly wondering if someone, somewhere, might have caused a problem.

It's that kind of hard-hitting cartooning that makes audiences wince worldwide, Olle!

How Do You Fit Five Elephants in a Volkswagon?

Chip Bok, 1/12/12:
Yes, Bok did just draw Newt Gingrich as "Jason" from Friday the 13th stabbing the GOP elephant in the eye with a chainsaw! You did not imagine that; it really happened.

(And the little hat is cute, too!)

All He Needs Now Is a "Meep, Meep!"

Nate Beeler, 1/18/12:
Jon Huntsman left the presidential race as he fought it: in a headline-grabbing blaze of glory, befitting his huge name recognition and massive base of support.

Also, this week Beeler is complaining that the media isn't paying enough attention to Gingrich, Romney, Perry, and the other munchkins.

Jan 18, 2012

I'm Not a Dummy! YOU'RE a Dummy!

Bob Gorrell, 1/17/12:
This week's issue of Newsweek features a cover story by Andrew Sullivan all about how cagy, wonderful, and super-smart Obama is and explicitly saying that all of his critics are borderline cretins.

Gorrell would like to say "Nu-uHHHH!" to that.

Jan 17, 2012

Inside WHAT, Exactly?

Chuck Asay, 1/14/12:
Actually, in this world, insider trading is available to anyone with inside knowledge of a publicly-traded business, which includes a great number of people who don't work on Capitol Hill.

But, in Asay's world, only politicians have inside knowledge of business; his businessmen are perfectly innocent souls, who know nothing of the work they spend all their days doing.

Uncle Sam & Big Government Are Two Different Things

Lisa Benson, 1/13/12:
So "Big Government" is pushing "Economic Freedom" to tighten the box that Uncle Sam works in, to the point that he barely has room for his file cabinet, "#10."

What the hell? Or do I have it wrong -- perhaps the other three pistons and walls should all have labels, as well?

Jan 14, 2012

We Have Nothing to Lose But Our Bedpans!

Ann Cleaves, 1/13/12:
Cleaves's cartoons are usually opaque to the point of incomprehensibility, so I may just be taking a wild stab here, but I think -- I think! -- this has something to do with Medicare.

Or maybe the Tea Party?

Occupy the Critical-Care Ward, maybe?

Jan 13, 2012

Apparently, Angela Merkel Is Itching to Invade the USA

Chuck Asay, 1/12/12:
I take no joy in picking on Chuck Asay day after day -- really, I don't.

But, since he can remember WWII, I would hope that he would check to see how small our defense budget was before that war started, and then avoid making really stupid comparisons.

Our pre-WWII army wasn't capable of fighting one overseas war.

Does That Mean He's Really Sam's Dog?

Paul Fell, 1/12/12:
If the doghouse is on fire, doesn't that mean that the Ahmadineja-dog will soon be free to chase after Uncle armed-with-only-a-piece-of-paper and bite his kneecaps off?

Outback and Way Off the Reservation

Elena Steier, 1/12/12:
Who among us hasn't pictured Mittens as a deformed kangaroo-man, hopping around the country and giving succor to a man with a silly name -- whom none but the most politics-pbsessed of us have even heard of -- to facilitate the kind of fishing that sucks up the water?

Actually, what the hell? Is there a single thing in this cartoon that makes any sense?

Jan 12, 2012

I Think My Head Is Glowing

Dwayne Booth, 1/8/12:
You have your choice of message with this one:

A) Yeah, man! Kill the corporate pigs! Total anarchy now! Man is born free, but everywhere he is totally in chains, 'cause of those corporate running dogs that we're going to take out!

B) Blah blah blah unhealthy food blah blah blah vegan blah blah blah tofu isn't quite as horrible as you think, really!

He Almost Looks Like a REAL BOY!

Eric Allie, 1/10/12:
OK, this one showed up at Cagle.com today with a 1/10/12 date stamp. That can't be right, can it? I mean, no one would be so out-of-touch as to do a random Halloween cartoon in mid-January, right?

Please tell me that this is an old, tired "liberal media" cartoon rather than a bizarre, new, tired "liberal media" cartoon.

That's a Very "Little Rascals" Fence, Too

Gustavo Rodriguez, 1/11/12:
Most people don't know that Venezuela and the USA share a land border.

They don't know it because it's not true, but they definitely don't know it.

Watch Out! Next Come the Bumpus Hounds!

Paul Fell, 1/12/12:
This is, of course, a metaphor for Romney's tendency to follow the dares of his school-yard friends and get himself into trouble.

Or something.

No, really, is this a reference to the "I like to fire people" line? Because compared to "blah people" and half of the things Herman Cain said -- let alone all of the things Gingrich said and ordered people not to quote later on -- it's not that impressive a gaffe.

Now, Monsanto Is Evil By Definition, Of Course

Stephanie McMillen, 1/12/11:
Remember: if 45,000 idiots are scared about "Frankenfood" for no good reason, we have to listen to them!

Jan 11, 2012

And a Side Order of Mysogyny, Too!

Gary Varvel, 1/10/12:
Working men absolutely hate unions, you know. Why would they ever want to have better working hours, conditions, or pay! Real men take whatever the capitalists deign to pay, and like it.

Don't Try to Untangle the Metaphor

Jeff Danziger, 1/10/12:
Every four years, we forget that the Iowa caucuses mean absolutely nothing and we're surprised that the tastes of the entire nation are not entirely congruent with those of 200,000 white middle-aged Republicans of northern European extraction in the upper Midwest.

And by "we," of course, I mean "editorial cartoonists," who are frequently astonished that the sun rises every day.