When Mall Santas Crack!

Ann Cleaves, 12/16/13:

Are those supposed to be Santa's elves? If not, why is he paying them in the first place? And why does he want them to go shopping?

Also, usually you get "double time and a half" -- speaking as a former retail wage-slave -- because you're working on a major holiday, and so you're not available to "go shopping."

Introducing the Icon Accessor 3000!

Ann Cleaves, 10/10/13:

Your guess is as good as mine, folks!

Maybe it's an oblique commentary on the very reactionary Tea Party wing of House Republicans? (I.e. -- they're as outdated as reel-to-reel tapes?) OK, that was a stretch.

How about a paen on Antiques Roadshow?

Anybody else got an idea?

Department of Redundancy Department

Ann Cleaves, 10/2/13:

Go to the ATM Machine and type in your PIN Number on the LCD Display, because the GOP Party is here!

Two Roads Diverged in a Cartoon Wood

Ann Cleaves, 8/27/13:

Are those guys supposed to be secret government spooks or just regular guys -- or even one of each?

Come to think of it, what on earth is this cartoon trying to say? That all secrets are leaked, and all lead into the woods?

Up, Up and Away

Ann Cleaves, 8/16/13:

The most important constituency for any Congresman is the community of faux-Victorian balloonists; if you can get them on your side, you're guaranteed victory.

Cecil the Oil-Sick Land Serpent?

Ann Cleaves, 6/6/13:

Um...everything that crosses a US border should be treated exactly the same, whether it's a poor person looking for a job or a multi-billion-dollar oil pipeline?

What the hell?!

Down on the Banks of the Ol' Confusing River

Ann Cleaves, 10/15/12:

OK, my best guess here -- and I stress that it is entirely a guess -- is that the fellow on the bank is the single worst caricature of Obama I've seen in four years.

If not...then I have no idea what's going on, which is distressingly common with Cleaves's cartoons.

Damien Revisited

Ann Cleaves, 10/13/12:

The Satan-phone! Get one for your infant today! It smirks, it whispers hideous suggestions, it brings your toddler closer to the bosom of the Lord of Darkness!


(No, seriously -- what is that thing supposed to be?)

Cloud-Cuckoo-Land

Ann Cleaves, 7/6/12:

The only people hiring are the campaign offices (Presidential, I assume -- though assuming can be very dangerous with the oblique cartoons of Ann Cleaves), but, sadly, the only potential employees are separated from those offices by a vast chasm, at the bottom of which is the sun.

Also, there are only three potential employees: one is special, one suffers from a crushing weight of debt, and the last has something else wrong with him that Cleaves did not make clear.

Would You Like to Play a Game?

Ann Cleaves, 6/14/12:

Hackers are friendly, open-faced folks, who gather all of the passwords they can obtain purely to offer them back to the rightful owners in their time of need.

This Cheap, Penny-Ante Building & Loan

Ann Cleaves, 5/16/12:

Cleaves believes that J.P. Morgan lost $2 billion, not on credit default swaps, but because they weren't willing to loan out their money to small businesses or take small savings accounts.

And ignorance like that on the part of the public is why Morgan is allowed to regulate itself and claim it has the "best risk control in the business."

If It's Too Rad, You're Too Old

Ann Cleaves, 5/10/12:

Every so often, I have to run an Ann Cleaves cartoon, just to remind you that she's still out there -- bless her heart!

And, as usual, I can just point at it quizzically and make confused noises.

Banana Republic

Ann Cleaves, 3/29/12:

Somewhere in the world, possibly near a jungle, there are some poor people, and also some heavily-armed types.

Cleaves is so non-specific here that I can't even tell if those are meant to be evil government soldiers (of whatever ideological persuasion), sinister private security forces (of the Blackwater type), or just good ol' all-American gun sellers. But, clearly, somewhere in the world is a thing that she doesn't like.

Boo! Hiss! Bad, bad thing Ann Cleaves doesn't like!

Your Guess Is As Good As Mine

Ann Cleaves, 3/2/12:

How do we make who listen to us about what?

And, once we've figured that out, can I ask why?

Ann Cleaves Confuses Me Once Again

Ann Cleaves, 2/24/12:

Rick Santorum is a cart full of cloud-like objects, which were possibly mined somewhere recently.

Huh!? If this is some kind of comment on fracking -- which is both common and controversial in Santorum's native Pennsylvania -- I have to say I don't get it. Or is he going to hell in a handbasket?

Completely Full of It

Ann Cleaves, 2/16/12:

Cleaves's cartoons are always so sweet and open that my first thought -- that this cartoon is deeply, wickedly cynical -- must be wrong.

But then it makes absolutely no sense, particularly since she's neglected to label these civic-minded folks driving to wherever (Washington?) with their truck-loads of money.

Oh No! The Unspecified Thing Is In Danger From the Cartoon Pirate!

Anne Cleaves, 2/3/12:

Watch out! Swarthy, mustachioed Spaniards are lurking in the ventilation ducts of our top research labs, ready to steal deadly whatevers!

Things Are More Like They Are Now Than They Ever Were

Ann Cleaves, 1/23/12:

Modern life sure is confusing, particularly for people who only believe the last thing they've heard.

Also, Bonanza has been off the air for thirty-eight years. Can't we use a slightly newer old-fart marker, like Matlock or Murder, She Wrote? (What is the official old-fart show currently on TV these days, I wonder?)

We Have Nothing to Lose But Our Bedpans!

Ann Cleaves, 1/13/12:

Cleaves's cartoons are usually opaque to the point of incomprehensibility, so I may just be taking a wild stab here, but I think -- I think! -- this has something to do with Medicare.

Or maybe the Tea Party?

Occupy the Critical-Care Ward, maybe?

Bah Humbug?

Ann Cleaves, 12/10/11:

Unless that fellow is a particularly young and bright-eyed Ebeneezer Scrooge, I got nothin'.