Blandness Marred by Incompetence

John Auchter, 1/24/12:

There is one -- and only one -- Democrat and Republican each in Michigan, and the Governor is neither one of them.

This message is brought to you by misplaced apostrophes, and your nation's embattled editors.

Cat's in the Cradle

John Auchter, 8/9/11:

The only thing that can possibly ruin the future is failing to read to your children!

So ignore politics, bury your head in the sand, and let your overlords get on with the serious work of running your life for you.

TL; DR

John Auchter, 7/13/11:

"Minor city no-one else cares about."

See? Easy.

Adventures in NIMBY-land

John Auchter, 5/24/11:

Everyone wants to use energy, but no one wants to generate it.

And just wait until he hears about fracking!

The Millage of God Grinds Slowly

John Auchter, 5/10/11:

For those of us not living in that bustling center of commerce that is Grand Rapids, Michigan, a "millage" is a dedicated piece of the property tax that goes to a local mass transit system. A popular vote recently increased that tax.

I'm sorry, I'll read that again: a popular vote recently increased that tax, which is not particularly popular with the car-driving suburbanites who voted against the measure.

Barbecue Time!

John Auchter, 4/12/11:

The US budget is made up of only the finest, exquisitely-marbled beef.

Extending that metaphor to the choice of cooking apparatus is left as an exercise for the reader.

John Auchter: 2/8/11

John Auchter, 2/8/11:
That amazing technological development of the 1970s, the shelf tag, appears to have finally made its way through the dense jungle surrounding the last holdout of primitive man: Grand Rapids, Michigan.