Aug 30, 2012

Chuck Asay Whispers "Death Panels" And Nods Knowingly

Chuck Asay, 8/29/12:
Currently, with private insurance, the for-profit companies lavish spending on all kinds of health care, never denying anything and allowing every single operation anyone could ever have wanted, without ever raising premiums.

But it would be completele different if the mean ol' gubbument was involved! Just ask all of those people on Medicare and Medicaid -- they never get any treatment!

When 24-Ounce Sodas Are Outlawed...

Steve Benson, 8/29/12:
Gov. Christie is a large man, which means he is Evil.

There's Peach, and Taupe, and Bone, and Salmon, and Tan...

Clay Bennett, 8/29/12:
Unlike Our Current President, Romney is a white guy, and that is Bad.

A Hammer Which We Use to Crush the Enemy

Ted Rall, 8/29/12:
Let's work out the options:
  • Vote for the incumbent -- Denied
  • Vote for the challenger who could actually win -- Denied
  • Vote for another challenger -- Denied 
  • Avoid the system entirely, to keep our perfectly clean hands still unblemished -- Plausible but Useless
  • "Real Change" Rall talking there about what the other side would call "those good Second Amendment remedies?" The "real change" that grows, as Mao put it, out of the barrel of a gun?

Aug 29, 2012

Who's Talking?

Tom Toles, 8/28/12:
We can know exactly what dead politicians would have said and done in the modern day, and thus use that special knowledge to pick on their heirs.

Try it yourself! It's fun!

Aug 28, 2012

Early Tee Time Today!

Bob Gorrell, 8/27/12:
Gorrell can draw -- he's got some of the best chops of the current pack of editorial cartoonists. (He does a great Obama caricature, all obnoxious smirk and dead eyes.)

So how come he so often turns in crap like this? For the sake of aping the real logo, it doesn't even read clearly.

The Minute Republicans Declare Taxes Need to Be Raised To Pay Down The Debt, They'll Be Taken Seriously

A.F. Branco, 8/27/12:
Gosh! If the debt is really that important, the government will need to raise more money to pay it down -- exactly like Ms. Elephant did when she was in power, right?

Heaven Has a Breathable Atmosphere

Randy Bish, 8/27/12:
Let me count the ways that this cartoon is lazy:

1) St. Peter, first and foremost

2) Armstrong isn't meeting other astronauts -- whose names Bish's audience might not know -- but the "aviation pioneers" he's pretty sure everyone will recognize

3) That looks nothing at all like Neil Armstrong.

Add your own! It's fun and educational!

Aug 27, 2012

Some People Don't Get the Point of "Freedom of Choice," Do They?

Bob Gorrell, 8/24/12:
Democratic policies -- the kind that they haven't enacted yet, or at any time when they controlled government, but will put in place right after this election if they win -- would force women to both work and have regular abortions.

Really! And they'll take your guns away, as well!

Putting the Pole Before the Linebacker

Paul Fell, 8/24/12:
So "Debt" is chasing that guy -- presumably representing college students, in one of the few examples of an editorial cartoon lacking a caption -- into "college costs"?

So college would not cost that much, except that the already-existing debt of college students drives them into it?

Could I, perhaps, suggest that Fell has it precisely backwards? That "college costs" is instead the monstrous football player scaring the student into running headlong into the pole of "debt"? And if I can could fix that so quickly, how come Fell's editor missed it?

Portrait of a Frightened Elephant

Lisa Benson, 8/24/12:
Note that Akin is sitting far out on the left wing of the plane. This serves as a good indication of the positions held by his fellow Republicans that are smart enough to keep their mouths shut.

We Are All Leftists Now

A.F. Branco, 8/24/12:
Fox News is slightly to the left of center.

This may amaze everyone in the entire rest of the world -- not to mention a majority of Americans -- but one must remember that Branco's definition of "center" is Pat Buchanan.

Tour de Oops

Randy Bish, 8/26/12:
Remember that what tripped up Armstrong were "allegations" -- not "evidence" or "facts" or "proof" or any of those other inconvenient words. Just "allegations."

Aug 24, 2012

You Didn't Hack That Out

Ken Catalino, 8/23/12:
It must be really, really hard to be a political cartoonist when the one big current political story reflects really badly on the side you've been hired to unconditionally support.

Why, you might have to create a cartoon about an out-of-context line from a month before, and hope no one calls you on it.

Aug 23, 2012

Dr. Pangloss Rides Again

Chuck Asay, 8/22/12:
Markets always make everything better and better for everyone, while regulation and oversight just add costs and corruption.

That's why meat-packers always make sure their product is entirely free of disease, the air and water has always been spotless and free of pollution, and the financial markets continue the unstoppable climb they began in the 1920s.

Meanwhile, in the Magical Land Where No One Criticizes The President

Mike Lester, 8/22/12:
No joke here -- just wanted to note that this is apparently Lester's Rep. Akin/"legitimate rape" cartoon.

Just move along -- nothing to see here.

Rubber and Glue

A.F. Branco, 8/22/12:

Moral equivalency arguments sure are tough on spelling, aren't they?

1960 Called: They Want Their Cartoon Back

Terry Wise, 8/22/12:
Fraudulent voting is at an all-time high across America, changing the course of elections and destroying our faith in the entire election system, to the point where only the very sternest measures -- poll taxes, property qualifications, and restrictions of the vote to men at least as pale as Terry Wise -- will stem the tide.


Aug 22, 2012

"Reagan Proved Deficits Don't Matter" -- VP Cheney

Jerry Holbert, 8/21/12:
Debt is a series of sharp Andean peaks, and the President is a sure-footed llama that carries the American people safely (if smugly) to ever-higher peaks.

Presumably Holbert means this to be a horrifying metaphor, but just look at that cute fuzzy Obama-llama! Isn't he adorable?! And the dude might be unhappy, but he seems to be perfectly safe.

Other Cultural Groups, On the Other Hand, Avoid Teaching Children Anything

Steve Greenberg, 8/21/12:
Those people are completely brainwashed and unable to be reasoned with, so we might as well just kill them all.

Note that "those people" could be used quite indiscriminately here.

Wouldn't Mitt's Projected 0.82 % Tax Rate Be "Free Stuff," Too?

A.F. Branco, 8/21/12:
Remember: a plan to take away $716 Billion from Medicare's budget and use it to give tax cuts to millionaires is a plan to save it.

And a plan to squeeze Medicare by $716 Billion (demanding the same level of service) and use that money to give more health care to more people is a cut.

Legitimate Explosions Don't Hurt Elephants

Kate Palmer, 8/21/12:
It is incredibly difficult to avoid insulting women and damaging your political career through unguarded statements...when you're a Tea Party Republican.

This is clearly because chicks are just too damn touchy, man.

Aug 20, 2012

You Break It, You Bought It

Michael Ramirez, 8/19/12:
Since the majority of the things Romney is complaining about -- especially the credit downgrade, booming budget deficit, and the fact that countries we invaded (and their neighbors!) now all want to kill us -- were caused by Republicans, clearly only Republicans can solve them.

That's only logical, right?

Capital Is Born Free, And It Is Everywhere In Chains

Lisa Benson, 8/17/12:
The record corporate profits recorded in 2010 and 2011 would be vastly higher if those companies weren't viciously shackled by unspecified policies put in place by politicians they don't like for vague identity-politics reasons.

Really. Trust them! Cut their taxes even lower, and they'll create some jobs -- any day now.

Bad, Bad Paul Ryan

Rob Smith, Jr., 8/18/12:
Paul Ryan, who has just joined the Romney ticket barely a week ago, is already completely out of control -- and, in contrast to his smart, principled, wonky reputation, he's actually a vicious junkyard dog resorting to the lowest level of politics.

And, apparently, Smith is so ecstatic about this development that he's neglected entirely to have any joke in this particular cartoon.

Tanks for Nothing

Terry Wise, 8/19/12:
"Oh, sure, Sarge, that's always been true. But I heard that Presidents took away voting rights from other citizens and maintained them for us soldiers -- is that true?"

"No, son -- for that, you'll need to look at Ohio Republicans, bless their hearts!"

Aug 17, 2012


Chuck Asay, 8/16/12:
Democrats are frightened and demoralized to be running against Ryan, since his plans to privatize, block-grant to the states, or outright eliminate Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and nearly everything else the government does (which doesn't involve sending heavily-armed youngsters overseas) are amazingly popular with the voters.

In other news: yes, Asay is well over age 55, so none of his benefits would be touched.

Aug 16, 2012

The Buck Stops Somewhere in This General Vicinity

Dick Locher, 8/15/12:
Obama both doesn't know whether the federal budget will be in balance and thinks that "balance" means that there will be some spare change left over.

He also appears to have been carved out of wood, but that's the least of his problems.

Aug 15, 2012

Don't Use Men To Get What You Want In Life -- Get It Yourself

Gary McCoy, 8/14/12:
All feminists are whores.

Or possibly all modern women, or single women.

Work Suspended

Eric Allie, 8/13/12:
Republican businessmen have been, and plan to continue, deliberately slowing the economy -- thus keeping people out of work and making all of us poorer -- because they personally dislike the current President.

And, you know, a bolder leader might take that as an opportunity to nationalize some of those unpatriotic slackers pour encourager les autres.

Note That the Military Is Scared of Two Middle-Aged Guys in Zipper Jackets

A.F. Branco, 8/14/12:
Opposing a plan to eliminate a benefit for everyone except the military -- and wanting to keep that benefit for the rest of Ohio's citizens -- is a blatant attack on the military.

Also, scary black men!

The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Is On Fire

Lisa Benson, 8/14/12:
Block-granting a deliberately decreasing amount federal funding for a program to states, under the assumption that they can quietly kill it, is exactly the same as using a similar amount of money to increase health care access for more people.

Aug 14, 2012

Don't Be a Paleface!

Steve Sack, 8/13/12:
When it is really warm in the summertime, that is conclusive proof that the earth is warming due to human activity. Conversely, if it were exceptionally cold in the winter, that would be conclusive disproof.

Listening to actual scientists and experts is for weenies.

McCoy to Cougar Town: Drop Dead

Gary McCoy, 8/12/12:
Old broads are, like totally fugly, dude! I could never be drunk enough to hit that!

Also, Madonna's act is fodder for a US editorial cartoonist, for some bizarre reason.

Call Paul Ryan What You Want -- But He's Not "Dumb"

Richard Bartolomew, 8/13/12:
Note that this cartoon works precisely as well if you flip the two tickets. This is what high-powered political-cartooning operatives call a "target-rich environment" and what we random guys on the Internet call "lazy."

It Was Necessary to Destroy Medicare In Order to Save It

Bob Gorrell, 8/13/12:
You can do whatever you want with a government program, as long as you claim that you want to "save" it. Cutting its budget, block-granting it to the states, setting it on a glide-path to nowhere -- all completely legitimate ways of "saving" something you never liked in the first place.

Aug 13, 2012

The Quicker Screwer-Upper!

Jerry Holbert, 8/10/12:
Obviously, buying up companies and sucking money out of them (and, maybe, along the way, helping some of them to succeed -- but getting the fees and flipping the ownership is much more important for the paydays) is much better experience for being President and dealing with financial problems than actually being President and presiding over the response to the biggest financial crisis in two generations.

C'mon, you gotta agree: any private sector experience is better, right?

Money Begets Money

Chuck Asay, 8/10/12:
Without stable, trustworthy financial institutions [1], the only options for your savings is either to hoard it under your mattress (where it won't appreciate at all, and may be stolen) or to "send it to Washington" [2].

Also, demographics are a bitch, particularly if you're too stupid to understand them.

[1] As, of course, we would have under kill-all-regulations Randians like Rep Ryan and his new boss.

[2] If this is as entirely voluntary as Asay presents it here, why is he so against it?

I Broke That Town in Half Like a Wooden Match

Bob Gorrell, 8/10/12:
It's true: if you don't allow an organization to control its own prices and then force it to pre-pay its healthcare costs for the next fifty years, it will have trouble paying its bills. And if you also require it to provide certain services to every address in the country, it doesn't help, either.

What About the Parts in Red Ink?

Terry Wise, 8/12/12:
Wise is calling all of you Christians out as posers: if you want a religion whose founder really did write the scriptures himself, you need to choose between Islam, Mormonism, and Scientology.

Either that, or it's just a shrug of the shoulders and excuse not to follow any particular Biblical pronouncement (mixing of fabrics, the ban on shellfish, treating your fellow man as you would wish to be treated) you might want to be excused from.

And Then People Complain the Tax Code Is Overly Complicated....

Ed Gamble, 8/12/12:
The only Olympians likely to need to pay any taxes on any of their prize money are those already receiving multi-millions in endorsements, since the rest can write off nearly all the costs for their athletic training and equipment -- and they're all amateurs, meaning their direct income from athletic pursuits is miniscule.

And so of course the government wants to find ways to reduce taxes on millionaires -- that's about the only thing the government has been doing for the last few years.

Don't Ask for Gold, Our Daily Bread, or No More Pain

Nate Beeler, 8/12/12:
Obama is personally responsible for the drought: if he'd taken a stronger stand on global warming, we'd have immediately reversed the warming trend and stopped weather extremes immediately.

Aug 10, 2012

Are We Lucky They Didn't All Go For "Skinhead-Towelhead"?

Yes, we've all realized by now that "Sikh" and "sick" are homophones. But it's not a joke. It's not even a meaningful observation. It's just there.

And the following cartoonists were satisfied with just being there:
Robert Ariail, 8/9/12:

Nick Anderson, 8/8/12:

Stuart Carlson, 8/8/12:

If Anyone Gave You Anything, Ever, You Didn't "Make That"

Chuck Asay, 8/8/12:
Poor people -- and anyone who uses birth control, too -- are the equivalent of junkie kids.

No! The equivalent of the pushers who sell to junkie kids!

Also, the welfare waiver totally isn't about letting the two Republican governors who asked for it -- and the dozen others (including Romney) who asked a few years back have just a bit of flexibility, grudgingly. That's evil, too.

Burying the Lede

Chuck Asay, 8/9/12:
Senator Reid knows about Romney's tax returns, not from some unnamed Bain mole, but because he helped bury them in the high desert, as part of an unholy ceremony that can only be performed when the starts are right.

Oh, and a side helping of "I'm Rubber, You're Glue."

The Golden Age of the Doughy Guy

Ed Gamble, 8/9/12:
Science in general, and space exploration in particular, does not create any jobs at all, either actually doing the science thing or afterwards in spin-off industries.

For example, the Internet, on which you're reading these words, has never contributed one cent to the economy of this fine country.

Aug 9, 2012

Weed Will Get You Through Times of No Money Better Than the Reverse

Nate Beeler, 8/8/12:
This is a local cartoon, and so those of us outside Ohio are not supposed to understand it.

But I have to ask: is Ohio really trying to promote casinos and getting tripped up by Internet cafes, at the same time? What kind of wondrous legislation does that?

The Fickle Finger of Fate

A.F. Branco, 8/8/12:
Obama's double-secret reverse strategy really means that he's accusing Romney of being a secret redistributionist who will raise taxes on the rich and powerful and distribute the spoils to the poor. And, as we see from Obama's robes, he is very, very rich, unlike the soberly dressed Romney.

Romney is of course downcast, knowing that it is entirely true -- he will.