Can't Fit Through the Kitchen Door

Ken Catalino, 11/12/13:

Chris Christie is fat. Fat! FAT!!!!

Get it? GET IT?

'Cause you'll be getting cartoons exactly this lame for months on end if he does end up running for president. (And for years if he wins.)

Hey! It's Malcolm's Dad!

Ken Catalino, 9/26/13:

Guaranteed health care is exactly like a criminal drug gang. (Or maybe a critically-acclaimed TV show?)

And the ways that they are alike are so obvious that Catalino doesn't need to explain them.

We Don't Need No Water

Ken Catalino, 7/28/13:

So "spending" -- by the government, we assume, on things like bombers and school lunches and roads and food inspectors -- is a wildfire that destroys things, while the concept of "cuts" is a stream of water?

I would really hate to be Catalino's economics teacher right now -- that's someone who clearly failed at an important job.

The Same Incredible Terror That's Menacing Me Will Strike at You!

Ken Catalino, 7/26/13:

Our current President -- by recent historical standards, a middle-of-the-road Republican like Ford, Nixon or Bush I -- is actually a fiendish alien symbiote who is systematically polluting our precious bodily fluids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, Catalino just said that. If anyone out there is his physician, could you check to make sure he's taking his meds?

Where The White Women At?

Ken Catalino, 6/16/13:

Your choice of interpretations!

If you're feeling very, very charitable: Obama chooses his political appointees for the most superficial reasons.

Otherwise: lock up the white women! Black President on the prowl!

Hybristophlia Ahoy!

Ken Catalino, 6/4/13:

Americans have never been attracted to notorious criminals -- not Dillinger, not Bonnie & Clyde, not Ted Bundy, not Richard Ramirez, not Charles Manson.

Nope. It's never happened before today.

Explain This Cartoon and Win a No-Prize!

Ken Catalino, 5/24/13:

Um, what?

I thought the knife-wielding guy was supposed to be Obama -- mostly because Catalino is obsessed with attacking Obama -- but that makes no sense given the caption.

Actually, it's difficult to find a single thing in this cartoon that makes sense -- for example, is the guy chasing a Tank Called Democracy? With a knife? Why? And who is he, anyway?

Basil Wolverton Swipe Theatre Presents

Ken Catalino, 5/2/13:

We shouldn't prosecute terrorists who bomb our cities, since that just wastes resources to try and then jail them. Instead, we should just deport them as soon as they explode their bombs.

Or is Catalino implying that there's some larger group, that he considers all "terrorists," that he wants deported?

Dutch Treats

Ken Catalino, 2/10/13:

If only we were willing to stop spending money on the poor, sick, and old, the government would have plenty of money!

And where's the waterfall marked "military spending," anyway?

Is He Hollering at the SIGN?

Ken Catalino, 11/26/12:

So...would those be the voters who returned a sitting Democratic President by a comfortable but not commanding margin? Or the voters who kept an ultra-partisan Republican-dominated House in place?

'Cause I'm not at all sure "the voters" have anything like a single voice that any of us could "listen to."

Remember When Veterans' Day Was About VETERANS?

Ken Catalino, 11/12/12:

Because we don't have freedom of speech, assembly, to bear arms, or to keep soldiers from being quartered in our houses during times our soldiers aren't occupying foreign countries filled with brown people.

Remember: if you cut defense spending by one penny, those Commies will conquer the world and take away our freedoms. In some sectors of the American public, it will forever be 1952.

All This Radio Really Needs Is a Fuse

Ken Catalino, 10/4/12:

If Romney wins, the country will have no more debt or taxes.

You know, I'm not an economist, but I tend to think that's not just vastly unlikely, but actively contradictory.

First as Tragedy, then as Farce

Ken Catalino, 9/22/12:

I feel sorry for Catalino: his audience knows it should hate Karl Marx, but isn't so clear on who he is.

It must be tough working for people like that every day.

You Didn't Hack That Out

Ken Catalino, 8/23/12:

It must be really, really hard to be a political cartoonist when the one big current political story reflects really badly on the side you've been hired to unconditionally support.

Why, you might have to create a cartoon about an out-of-context line from a month before, and hope no one calls you on it.

Behold You the Mote That Is In Your Brother's Eye

Ken Catalino, 8/2/12:

If the US were a godly, Christian nation -- the way it's supposed to be -- then there would be no mass killings, the economy would be humming along just fine, all our children would be above average, and there would be a chicken in every pot.

So it's all your fault!

Looks Like a Cheeky Little Engine from the Island of Sodor

Ken Catalino, 7/27/12:

Yes, "Spain's Tax & Spending Crunch" is a cheerfully green train driving somewhat above and at an acute angle to the badly-drawn tracks.

And this means...what, exactly?

Has Anyone Seen Mike Hunt?

Ken Catalino, 7/12/12:

Returning to '90s-era balanced budgets and PAYGO rules would be exactly like an '80s movie about '50s teenagers trying to get laid, in some way that only makes sense to Catalino.

(Of course, the Democrats aren't suggesting ending the Bush tax cuts for everyone in the first place, but you have to grant every artist his premise, however nutty it is.)

That's an Awfully Thick Tightrope

Ken Catalino, 6/17/12:

Hey, it's another incomprehensible "tether" cartoon! (See Adam Zyglis's version a couple of days prior.)

Remember, "spending" is a tether to keep government on the tightrope (of what? a balanced budget? fiscal prudence? prosperity?) and not fall into the roiling waters of Debt.

Huh?

Shouldn't the Elephant be Joffrey?

Ken Catalino, 6/9/12:

Yes, Democrats just can't seem to get the hang of deficit spending -- they keep trying to provide government services, and actually help out the citizens of the country, instead of enriching themselves, starting unnecessary wars, and randomly cutting taxes the way Republicans do.

Only Republicans know how to really spend into a deficit, as proven by our last President.

My Country, Right or Wrong

Ken Catalino, 5/24/12:

I'm not sure if this was an early Memorial Day cartoon -- it was posted on Thursday -- but, even if so, one might note that Germans and Japanese would agree that the American forces that conquered their countries were, in the end, "good guys."

But one might also note that Afghanis and Iraqis -- several hundred thousand of whom have died during the wars of the last decade -- would probably not agree, and might not agree even sixty years later. It's easy to claim the moral high ground for one's own side, but much less easy to be worthy of it.

(This might also be the place to note that Memorial Day cartoons, as usual, focused almost exclusively on WWII vets -- in several cases, the cartoonists' own dead fathers -- and rarely even mentioned currently-serving troops.)