Jun 27, 2013

Or Is He Just Calling For Anarchy?

Bob Gorrell, 6/26/13:
I'm speechless. Is Gorrell actually complaining that a Republican-dominated Supreme Court just allowed Republican-dominated southern states a giant loophole to ram through measures to keep blacks from voting?

Because that's true, but usually Gorrell is cheerleading for efforts like that.

No Disintegrations!

Phil Hands, 6/25/13:
I have no idea what this cartoon is about, though I don't doubt it is a terribly serious issue for Wisconsinians. (Wisconsiners? Wisconsinites? Wisconsini?)

But I would be in favor of allowing bounty hunters more latitude to operate if and only if they dress up as their favorite Star Wars characters at all time.

Archer Daniels Midland Demands Their Handout On Time!

Lisa Benson, 6/25/13:
How dare Congress sully a bill giving lots of money to rich agribusinesses by including aid to poor, hungry people, the same way they have for several decades?

More Butter!

Clay Bennett, 6/24/13:
Paula Deen personally killed bigotry and served it up as a meal?

I really don't think that's what Bennett meant to say, but it's what he did say.

How Will We Live Without Quantitative Easing?

Dan Wasserman, 6/24/13:
The head of the Federal Reserve Board tentatively saying that, considering that we've been in a mild recovery for several years, and contingent on economic indicators continuing to get better, then he's going to finally make big banks pay a tiny pittance for the money they get from the government instead of continuing to give it to them for free...well, that's like yelling fire in a crowded theater, isn't it?

TL; DR: bankers are worried that this particular free ride might be over, and are capturing profits to add to their already bulging pockets. Cry me a river.

Name a 66-Year Old White Southerner You're SURE Has Never Used That Word -- I Dare You

Jimmy Margulies, 6/24/13:
The KKK was not, as we may have heard, a terrorist organization that killed hundreds and ruled communities by fear for decades before their power was finally broken.

No, they're just white people who used "the N-word" once or twice, which is exactly as bad.

To My American Readers: Are You Enjoying Living in the Ruins?

Bob Gorrell, 6/24/13:
Whenever anyone learns about a government program or operation that government wanted to keep secret, the nation in question instantly falls.

No exceptions.

Jun 24, 2013

Tortured Quote Theater Presents

Glenn McCoy, 6/21/13:

Obama calls segregated Catholic and Protestant schools in Northern Ireland divisive.

Feel free to disagree, if you can think up a good argument....

(Catholic Online has the longest version of the Obama quote I've found, but every news story on this topic comes from the right-wing Catholic outrage machine, so there's more than the usual share of point-missing.)

Already Paid a Month's Rent on the Battlefield

David Horsey, 6/21/13:
Because the Iranian President -- and not the unelected mullahs, who hold most of the power -- is the central reason why the US is in conflict with Iran. Why, in 1979, it was their President who took American hostages and decalred "Death to America," right?

Beep You, You Beepin' Beep!

John R. Rose, 6/21/13:
That poor, poor man is being forced to watch reality TV, by shadowy forces just off-panel. He has no free will to choose his own entertainment -- so we must pity him.

Jun 23, 2013

Possibly a Warning

I've set a few posts to go live tomorrow morning, in the usual manner.

However, I'm once again posting via an iPad from a remote, undisclosed location. I did this two years ago, with a first-gen iPad, and it worked, but the images came out wonky. I tried again last year, and couldn't manage to make it work at all. (Earlier this year, during other undisclosed-location trips, I just left the blog fallow until I was back to a real computer.)

This week, I have a somewhat spiffy iPad 3, and it seems to be all working correctly. But the images may well cause trouble again.

I tell you this because I know political-cartoon readers have delicate sensibilities -- like those of other breeds of political watchers -- and are ready to react badly to the least stimulation. Please be prepared with any necessary medicine; I don't mean to induce dyspepsia unintentionally.

Jun 20, 2013

ACME Quality

A.F. Branco, 6/19/13:
If one single illegal immigrant is allowed into the US in the future, the entire GOP is doomed.

Nothing to Hide

Bob Gorrell, 6/19/13:
It is impossible to comprehend that a person might want to make some information public, but not every last detail of his life.

Similarly, news organizations -- such as the one Gorrell works for -- have no editorial function; they just publish as many bytes of data as they can as quickly as they can.

Jun 19, 2013

Cthulhu in a Box?

Stephen Rustad, 6/18/13:
Forbidding the government from spying on its people is exactly like criminalizing use of a very widespread and commonly-used substance.

In fact, every single limitation on the scope of government is exactly like Prohibition!

Jun 18, 2013

Our Daughters Like Corner Pillars Cut for the Structure of a Palace

Rick McKee, 6/13/13:
It is right and proper for men to control the sexuality of their women.

Maybe -- just maybe -- if they do as they're told, we'll let them vote the way we tell them to.

Jun 17, 2013

Someone Else Should Go and Stop That!

Rob Rogers, 6/14/13:
Postulate: The US is required to intervene militarily in any countries where more than a handful of people are killed unnecessarily.

Fact: In 2010, 30,000 Americans were killed by guns.

Conclusion: America must invade the USA!

HALO Jumpers Gone Wrong

Lisa Benson, 6/15/13:
Hey, remember how before Obamacare health insurance premiums were dropping substantially?

Neither does anyone else...except Benson, I guess.

Where The White Women At?

Ken Catalino, 6/16/13:
Your choice of interpretations!

If you're feeling very, very charitable: Obama chooses his political appointees for the most superficial reasons.

Otherwise: lock up the white women! Black President on the prowl!

Jun 7, 2013

When There's No More Room in Green-Wood, The Dead Will Walk the LIE

Peter Dunlap-Shohl, 6/6/13:
Cemeteries are a finite resource which will run out very soon, not one of many uses for land or an area that can (and regularly has been) re-used or re-purposed for other things.

Also, Dunlap-Shohl draws like a drunken baboon.

Swab It To Me

Joe Heller, 6/6/13:
Police are required to get a warrant before collecting any personally-identifying information from the people they arrest, such as their names and fingerprints.

Cecil the Oil-Sick Land Serpent?

Ann Cleaves, 6/6/13:
Um...everything that crosses a US border should be treated exactly the same, whether it's a poor person looking for a job or a multi-billion-dollar oil pipeline?

What the hell?!

Oh No! Foreign Ownership of Our Militarily Sensitive Pork Industry!

Ed Gamble, 6/6/13:
When foreign interests buy large American buildings -- as, for example, when the Japanese bought up huge swaths of Manhattan in the mid-80s, leading to gasps and garment-rending from Gamble's spiritual predecessors -- they immediately pack up those buildings and take them back to their homelands.

They certainly don't pump money into the US by that purchase and find themselves with a serious interest in the health of at least the micro-economy around their buildings. No, sir, that's the last thing they do.

Jun 6, 2013

Hybristophlia Ahoy!

Ken Catalino, 6/4/13:
Americans have never been attracted to notorious criminals -- not Dillinger, not Bonnie & Clyde, not Ted Bundy, not Richard Ramirez, not Charles Manson.

Nope. It's never happened before today.

Whatever Happened to "You Have Nothing to Worry About If You Aren't Guilty"?

John Deering, 6/4/13:
Because IRS audits are trials that take place before judges, where pleading the Fifth would have some actual meaning, instead of being administrative hearings where a taxpayer -- or, if he's smart, his representative -- must defend his case, or else he loses by default.

TL; DR: There's no presumption that a tax return is correct, the way there's a presumption of innocence.

Paddington! How COULD You!

Eric Allie, 6/4/13:
Is she talking to the picture of her husband? And is that supposed to be their hideous deformed bear-child?

Remember, if there's a bear in your house, the thing to do is first starve it until it's weak, and then drown it in the bathtub.

Another Use for that Mouth?

Signe Wilkinson, 6/5/13:
After generations of the women's movement, feminism, the sexual revolution, and ever-more-liberated men, cunnilingus is finally suitable for talking about.

Unfortunately, it's by an actor who claims it will give you cancer....

A Principled Argument In Favor Of Letting the Old Die in Ditches, From an Old Man

Chuck Asay, 6/5/13:
C'mon -- someone must have told Asay that the immigration bill only covers people who got into the US illegally many years ago, right?

Surely he can't get something that basic wrong, can he?

Would YOU Walk a Mile?

Clay Bennett, 6/5/13:
One of our two major political parties -- tracing its history back to Abraham Lincoln and the fight against slavery -- is the moral equivalent of peddling cancer-sticks to children.

Well, at least no one can be confused about Bennett's position!

Condemned For a Crime He Most Certainly DID Commit

John Cole, 6/5/13:
It is an outrage that police are allowed to collect personally identifying information from people they've arrested!

We all know that there is no time when an American is entitled to more privacy than right after he's been arrested, right? There's no photography, fingerprinting, change of clothes (and possibly cavity search) at that time -- and certainly the police would never dream of trying to have crime victims identify an arrestee visually!

No, we must ensure that police can never collect any information whatsoever on suspects to identify them -- we must preserve the privacy of our accused!

Jun 5, 2013

Ah, the Ford Anglia 105E Deluxe!

Christopher Weyant, 6/3/13:
If you get too "close" to a scandal -- i.e., if you look like you'll actually do political damage to the other party -- the UN Black Helicopters will swoop down and disappear your ass forever more.

Seriously, is Weyant trying to warn that the scandals themselves are going to destroy these random Republican elephants in their flying car? What on earth is that supposed to mean, metaphorically?

Jun 4, 2013

It's So Funny When Girls Try to Do Stuff

Pat Oliphant, 6/3/13:
Ha ha! Isn't it funny when girls try to do boy things!?

They're no good at it! They need to stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, making Oliphant a sandwich, where they belong!