Consider That the Guy May Just Be Presbyterian

Terry Wise, 12/24/13:

If you have any kind of Christmas celebration, of any kind, but don't attend your local hegemonic Christian church, you are evil.

I can see that Wise is trying to make a point connected to that word "hypocrite," but I do not think that word means what he thinks it means.

And You Have to Pay for the Elves' Birth Control, Too!

Terry Wise, 12/8/13:

Unlike the previous regime, under Obamacare you can lose your healthcare for being sick or having other conditions that make your healthcare more expensive.

No, wait -- it's the reverse of that.

The Man With the Star

Terry Wise, 11/10/13:

I'm not sure if this is a slam at Obama for being so out-of-touch that he doesn't get that a "dog and pony" show is meant to be a performance (albeit a lame, dull one) by those animals, or if the whole thing is a dog whistle that I don't recognize. (I'm trying to bring it into focus as an attack on the Obamacare website, but I can't figure that out.)

Also, you can gauge Wise and his target audience's age quite precisely by his cultural references.

Weep No More, My Lady

Terry Wise, 10/29/13:

Oh no! People might be signing up for healthcare! And they might not precisely fit the rules!

We must get rid of those people at all costs!

What This Country Needs Is a Good MAXIMUM Wage

Terry Wise, 8/30/13:

Fast-food employees are working their dream jobs -- they all want to slave over the fryolator their entire lives, and so we can happily leave them there.

Not Even Sure What the Joke Is Here

Terry Wise, 8/14/13:

LinkedIn is a serious tool used within companies, and not a glorified resume site primarily used by people angling for better jobs -- and, therefore, companies will pay people to teach their employees who to use it.

I do have to wonder who's more clueless...the hiring manager in this cartoon or Wise himself?

The Wizarding World of Baldy McFatso

Terry Wise, 8/13/13:

Children do not use writing utensils every damn day of their school careers.

Also, all you stupid kids with your baggy pants, long hair, VHS tapes, 23-skidoo, Brylcream, and tattoos need to get off Wise's lawn right now.

J'accuse!

Terry Wise, 8/5/13:

A popular Republican from a heavily Democratic state in the Northeast is not nearly reactionary enough for Wise, which means he's a poser, because only the very most ideologically pure are true members of the vanguard Communist Party USA Republicans.

In other words: the circular firing squad that is the modern Republican Party continues. And Wise doesn't even feel the need to attack Christie with any facts -- like the Terror, merely the accusation of ideological deviation is enough.

Know Your Rights: All Three of 'Em

Terry Wise, 7/29/13:

If you're not exactly as outraged by every single death everywhere in the world, you're a poser.

Monsters of the Id Theater Presents

Terry Wise, 7/21/13:

Um, yeah.

Is Wise really saying that a black-dominated city is a slavering monster, in reference to Obama's speech?

Is there any way this cartoon isn't horribly racist?

Supreme Executive Power Must Derive From a Mandate From the Masses, Not Some Farcial Aquatic Ceremony!

Terry Wise, 7/5/13:

Yes, Wise is seriously arguing that the fundamental law of our country is based entirely on the unexamined prejudices of a bunch of rich white men (mostly slave-owners) who died two hundred years ago.

More than that, he insists that's right.

If any right-wingers want to disavow Wise, the line forms right behind the counter, there.

If You Chose Not to Decide, You Still Have Made a Choice

Terry Wise, 7/1/13:

You have no choice! The Supreme Court has spoken! All Americans will be forced to be gay-married to spouses scientifically chosen by Saul Alinsky and his cohorts!

Once again, a right-winger is deeply confused about how other people's marriages will affect him.

Born In The Log Cabin He Built With His Own Hands

Terry Wise, 5/29/13:

Not that I want to stop any put-downs of smug know-it-alls -- because we all hate those guys, no matter what their political persuasion....

"And we all build our houses individually, like the Randian he-men we are! There certainly aren't major companies that put up large quantities of single-family homes, abetted by cheap land and lax land-usage standards!"

Lawyers, Guns & Money

Terry Wise, 4/24/13:

The only possible reason for wanting to institute laws that restrict human behavior around technology -- to require licenses for cars, for example, or criminalizing driving that car while drunk, or adding armored doors to airplane cockpits -- is an animistic desire to punish that technological item.

Therefore all such laws are anti-liberty, and must be immediately eliminated.

Kumbaya, Y'Know?

Terry Wise, 4/22/13:

Everyone knows that Muslims can't speak in public without blurting out "Kill all the Christians!" or "I bathe in your blood, infidel!"

So they try to keep quiet in the kind of folksy small-town diners that Wise frequents.

Let's You and Him Fight

Terry Wise, 4/21/13:

The guy from Kentucky claims that Bostonians are cheesed off that the rest of us aren't outraged enough about the marathon bombing.

Or perhaps we're all saddened rather than outraged -- Wise seems to think that the proper response to anything is to round up some "bad guys" and do nasty things to 'em.

(I could be misreading this cartoon, of course -- "Where's the" is in one place and "National Outrage" is somewhere else, and "National Outrage" certainly looks big and impressive in this cartoon, not something one would complain about. But, if so, what does he mean?)

Lifestyles of the Southern and Bad-Haired

Terry Wise, 4/3/13:

We all want to punish our children -- to hold them down and thrash them -- for every last slight infraction, because that's what our parents did to us, and it didn't hurt us none.

But, some days, we're just too darn tired, and the transgression is too small and too confusing to understand, so we can't even muster the energy to get the switch.

And that makes us sad.

(Also: this aparrently counts as a political cartoon.)

Too Dumb to Read the Sign

Terry Wise, 3/18/13:

Yes, Wise expects us to commiserate with small businessmen whose products now command double the prices they did in 2008.

Whatever happened to the creative destruction of capitalism? If these feebs can't make money in that kind of a rising market, I'm surprised they can stand outside in the rain without drowning.

Carefully Exclude That Middle!

Terry Wise, 3/11/13:

Remember: they're called criminals because they don't follow laws, right? (NRA Talking Point #1.)

And, as Wise points out here (NRA Talking Point #2), gun registrations and similar actions primarily affect lawful gun-owners, since criminals, by definition, break every single law, all of the time, and can never be punished for their crimes.

Therefore no laws are ever needed for anything, since they only discomfit the honest while the evil disregard them!

Peppered With Shots by the Responding Officers

Terry Wise, 3/10/13:

There is no imaginable reason to make "a salt rifle" -- or, even more so, to call it that -- except to cause trouble.

And it's only middle-aged white guys who think agitating armed officers of the law is a fun and safe thing to do.