Patent That Sucker!

Ed Stein, 4/27/12:

Considering Edison was arguably the USA's first patent troll -- he owned 1093 of 'em, and the filmmaking industry fled from the New York area to Hollywood originally to flee his enforcement efforts -- this cartoon does not hit the target as squarely as it might.

Those Damn Yankees, Why Can't We Beat Them?

Chuck Asay, 4/28/12:

Only an idiot would want to have a likable candidate in a popularity contest!

Also, given the history of the last few years, I'm not sure the metaphor that "most dependably extremist" equates with "hitting" is either wise or entirely coherent.

Careful, Icarus!

Henry Payne, 4/27/12:

Yes, keeping student loan interest rates the same -- under a regulatory framework so that student-loan debt can't be forgiven, at all, even in a bankruptcy -- is exactly like giving college students money for free.

(Nice evocation of Geoff Peterson's signature one-arm gesture, though.)

Taxes -- Your Way!

John R. Rose, 4/28/12:

In most jurisdictions of these United States, local merchants are allowed to decide for themselves what levels of tax will be charged to their customers, which explains why this restaurant owner looks so dumbfounded.

Everything Looks Like a Nail

Glenn McCoy, 4/26/12:

He's a Commie, folks! A dirty, rotten commie! And he's going to steal your guns and send your kids to reeducation camps!

Really. Any minute now. Just wait for it.

What Money Can't Buy, I Don't Need

Rob Rogers, 4/26/12:

...because, if you let the student loan rates go back up, you'll magically have more money to put in your 401(k)s and pay for your mortgages, because the super-special Job Creators will have made everything better?

No, seriously: is Rogers really trying to say that the students will be financially better off if their loan rates are higher? Or is his point that everything is going to suck, anyway, so we might as well soak the kids while we can?

The Horror of Bootstraps

Chip Bok, 4/25/12:

Isn't it horrible when one of those people does well, and feels the urge to rub it in your face? Can't they just stay with their own kind, like they're supposed to?

(And what kind of dog whistle is the "student loans" line supposed to be, anyway? Particularly since Romney is walking exactly the same line on those loans.)

Chicken Little Rides Again!

Gary Varvel, 4/25/12:

The news that Social Security and Medicare will possibly run out of money -- assuming everything stays exactly the same for several decades, which it never has yet -- is a shocking new development, and not something that crops up every four or five years, to be fixed by tinkering with those programs.

Also of note: if there was a calendar in this cartoon, it would have to read at least 2030, because that's when those programs are currently projected to have difficulty funding their currently-mandated levels based on their currently-projected income.

One might also decide to look at the federal budget for 2030, as much as such a thing can be projected, and see if it is equally solvent.

Jet Fighters Never Die

Pavel Constantin, 4/22/12:

The fighter plane is made out of money. (Making it vastly different from all other military hardware, which grows freely on trees.)

Hands up anyone else who at first thought those little round things were condoms....

In the Henhouse

Pat Bagley, 4/25/12:

Traditionally, when engaged in the art of debunkery, one places the myth first, and only then rebuts with the truth.

Bagley, though, doesn't play by anyone else's rules.

Watch Out for His Stranglehold!

Henry Payne, 4/24/12:

Aw, shucks! Ted Nugent is just a big ol' softy! He's a country boy, and he don't mean nothin' that he says! Besides, he's got a long history of making death threats that he doesn't really mean!

Tally-Ho!

Jeff Danziger, 4/24/12:

The Romneys have more money than you do, and therefore you should hate them with the passion of a thousand exploding suns.

He's Unemployed Too, You Know!

Nate Beeler, 4/24/12:

So, if Romney wins, all of the unemployed will take it in turns to be his Veep?

Or is Beeler just trying to say, in a particularly clumsy way, that the lurkers support Romney in e-mail?

No Beat, and You Can't Dance To It

Bob Gorrell, 4/24/12:

Does it really behoove a cartoonist who hits on the very same topic day after day to call attention to the old phrase "broken record?"

For that matter, is it helpful for a cartoonist trying to appeal to those young folks on them thar Internets to call attention to the fact that he knows what a broken record is?

Finally, wouldn't one hope a cartoonist could manage to make a joke in his cartoons?

Ring That Dinner Bell

Rick McKee, 4/20/12:

Obama was trained from a young age to eat the rich -- he's a socialist sleeper agent! -- which is why tax rates in the US are at historic lows right now.

That's a pretty lousy sleeper agent, isn't it?

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Report No Evil

Michael Ramirez, 4/23/12:

Desecrating enemy corpses; killing civilians; slaughtering wedding parties -- these are admirable activities for our manly soldiers.

Reporting on any of those things, though, is something only a depraved anti-American would do.

Remember: the First Amendment only applies to saying nice things about Our Troops!

If You Can't Lick 'Em....

Monte Wolverton, 4/23/12:

Wolverton is both a psychiatrist -- skilled at diagnosing patients from far away, and from brief snippets of their statements on the news -- and a forensic detective with shocking news about America's favorite guitarist/bowhunter.

Or perhaps he's just engaging in wild character assassination.

Wango Tango

Terry Wise, 4/23/12:

It is very surprising when negative consequences follow a very public, and only slightly veiled, death threat against the leader of your country.

Also, it is equally surprising when someone doesn't recognize a musical figure who hasn't had a hit in over twenty years.

Career Moves

Mike Luckovich, 4/20/12:

So God was just holding off Armageddon because he didn't have a decent host for the TV special? What, are Bob Hope and Johnny Carson both in Hell?

What Is It Good For?

Jeff Stahler, 4/21/12:

Usually, wars are happy times, full of flowers, singing, pretty ponies, and ice cream!

Where's the Bandstand?

Jimmy Margulies, 4/20/12:

If a single person in this world can produce one example of a work for solo harp that "has a beat," I'll eat my hat.

What we have here is a case where the other standard It's Sad When Someone Dies cartoon -- the dead guy meeting Saint Peter -- would have been infinitely preferable, and slightly less stupid.

I Meant What I Said, and I Said What I Meant

Lisa Benson, 4/21/12:

I get so confused sometimes -- I was sure that cap-and-trade was the conservative option, based on free markets and allowing externalities to be priced to allow firms to compete based on their real costs to the local environments and markets.

I guess I must have imagined that, the way I imagined that Romneycare-style mandates were a product of right-wing think tanks.

I Can Almost Hear Someone Blowing a Whistle

Terry Wise, 4/22/12:

Not only did Obama eat dog meat, at least once forty years ago when he was a child in a foreign county, but all of his followers eat dogs at the least opportunity.

The ad hominem attacks are coming pretty early this election cycle, I have to say.

Every Dog Has His Day

Nate Beeler, 4/19/12:

Sure, an adult Romney might have mistreated a family pet while trying to make "good time" on a car trip, but Obama was served dog meat as a child!

(Note the subtle insinuations of un-Americanism and the faint whiff of distant birtherdom.)

Any Day With Big Cartoon Moneybags Is a Good Day

Bob Gorrell, 4/19/12:

The government -- which Obama personally owns, in case you didn't know that -- should spend substantially less money than it currently does, in ways that Gorrell would rather not have to specify.

A Campaign to Remember

Paul Fell, 4/19/12:

Romney is doomed, of course -- incumbent Presidents never lose, not even when the economy is pretty lousy, they're black guys whom half the country thinks are Marxist Kenyan Commies, and they're running against well-funded white dudes with awesome politician hair.

Nope, he doesn't have a chance -- somebody tell the pollsters, OK?

In This World Nothing Can Be Said to Be Certain...

Scott Stantis, 4/19/12:

This is a "don't bother Our Soldiers with pissant shit" cartoon, rather than a "the violent looney-tunes who take pictures with corpses are also tax deadbeats" cartoon, because we must all Support Our Troops at all times.

Mitt Goes Off-Roading

Bob Englehart, 4/18/12:

Now, if you're going to do a cartoon referencing Romney and that ol' dog Seamus, you need to get the facts straight: there was a windbreak in front of the doggie carrier, the carrier was plenty sturdy enough, and Seamus's distress was of the intestinal variety.

So this metaphor is utterly unconnected to the story that supposedly inspired it, and just adds up to "Romney sucks," which is dull and pointless.

The Best Things In Life Are Free

Ed Gamble, 4/18/12:

Yes, Gamble really does believe that those are the categories where the government spends most of its money -- or, at least, he thinks he can convince you that it is.

The truth, though, is that most of the budget goes to Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and the Military:

 (chart via dummies.com)

Help By Walking Away, Obviously

Chuck Asay, 4/17/12:

Today's zen koan from the mighty Chuck Asay: how to "help" the indigent without "enabling" them?

Why grasshopper, the answer is as close as the sound of one hand clapping!

The Same Old Line

Chuck Asay, 4/18/12:

Oooh! Oooh! Is it "things public figures say to make people feel better that they don't mean"?!

What, you mean this isn't the $100,000 Pyramid?

Reruns, Again?

Steve Benson, 4/18/12:

Bill Maher?! What is this -- two dozen news cycles ago? And did anybody care about him then?

I guess there is something very appropriate about a pointlessly late cartoon complaining about things Maher had said long before the initial manufactured outrage.

As Big Ships Go, She Was Bigger Than Most

Steve Nease, 4/16/12:

This cartoon marks the first use of a new tag -- What He Said -- the meaning of which, I hope, will be self-evident.

Yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip Mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mum

Eric Allie, 4/17/12:

Absolutely! Right-wingers want women to stay home and take care of their children, which is why they demand higher levels of aid for families and want to abolish work requirements for welfare.

Don't they?

Hey Macarena!

Michael Ramirez, 4/17/12:

Every government official is required to work twenty-four hours a day, and to never be -- even in their least guarded moments -- less than utterly serious.

Unless you're a male Republican, of course, and then you can go hunting and shoot lawyers all you want.

I Wanna Guard Your Life

Chuck Asay, 4/17/12:

That's right -- Romney's record in government, running Massachussets, is so similar to Obama's record as President that the best metaphor for the two of them is a find-the-tiny-difference set of pictures.

Not the angle I expected Asay to take, I have to admit....

Rawhide Speaketh!

Michael Ramirez, 4/16/12:

Didn't just want to -- Reagan actually did raise taxes eleven times. And made a nuclear arms deal with the Communist "Evil Empire." And worked smoothly with a Democratic-dominated Congress to compromise and pass useful legislation.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, governed substantially to the left of current Republican dogma, idolatry nonwithstanding.

Blue Man Group

Ron Rogers, 4/16/12:

Pray tell, is that supposed to be "Breach," as in Security Breach?

Or is it really "Breech," as in the kind of baby that comes feet-first?

Either way, if anyone detects a joke, please let me know.

Actually, We Call It "The Tragedy of the Commons," But This Isn't It

Phil Hands, 4/16/12:

This cartoon might, perhaps, make a clear political point if we knew exactly who that guy represents.

Is he Big Business, lobbying Congress to give him ever-more tax breaks?

Or is he J. Random Taxpayer, pigging out on the mortgage deduction and increased allowances for his growing number of children?

Or is he supposed to be Congress itself, which is the only body that actually can "eat all it wants" of the tax breaks and credits that it creates by law?

I wonder if Hands knows which he is? Maybe, if we ask nicely, he'll tell us.

Keep On Truckin'

John Deering, 4/13/12:

Definition of bad luck: the one day in her life Ann Romney works outside the home, a runaway truck smashes the building.

Is it any wonder she'd rather stay at home and ride up and down in the car elevator all day?

Gun Control

Michael Ramirez, 4/14/12:

Remember: if someone has visited your house more than a specific number of times, you're legally responsible for all of their actions forever more.

On a related topic: how come I haven't seen a "Real Housewives"-themed Ann Romney cartoon? I can't be the only person who thinks it's obvious, can I?

"Women Want Men To Stop Asking Dumb Questions Like That." -- Freud

Chuck Asay, 4/14/12:

Exactly! Republicans offer women jobs -- at whatever prices employers deign to pay, after the minimum-wage laws are eviscerated and unions are eliminated, without any health care or benefits -- while all Democrats can muster up is something silly like "fairness."

No wonder there's an eighteen-point gender gap in the Presidential race!

War On Women: The Second Front

Joel Pett, 4/15/12:

If you think political debates get nasty and vicious, you haven't seen what the stay-at-home-mom/working-mom fight entails. Stay as far away from it as you can.

(I'd make a crack about "supervising the nanny is a job, too!", but it's entirely possible that Ann Romney actually made sandwiches for her sons herself -- like a poor person! -- while Mitt was racking up those hundreds of millions running companies through the Bain Capital shredder.)

Quixote Thought the Windmills Were GIANTS, Dummy!

Michael Ramirez, 4/13/12:

Technological progress never works! Americans are idiots, who are completely unable to build anything new or create new technologies. We'd be much better off stopping trying to make things, and just turn all our efforts into resource extractions, and leave the smarter countries to do the innovating.

Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

Adam Zyglis, 4/15/12:

The social "safety net" -- the metaphor of the social programs benefiting the poor, such as food stamps, housing aid, and direct cash payments -- is an actual net, which Congressman Paul Ryan has recently realized could be put to a more capitalistically beneficial use, such as catching fish.

This, sadly, has bad consequences for the poor, who are balding men falling from a great height into the sea -- not women or children, as one might expect, since they're the vast majority of recipients of these programs -- who will now drown in the waters of...now, what would the water be in this metaphor? The economy in general?

We Don't Like Your Types Around Hyar!

Chuck Asay, 4/12/12:

If you work for the government, you just "don't belong."

First-Class Quality at Steerage Prices!

Lisa Benson, 4/12/12:

The entire US is embarking on a journey across the Atlantic, where we will strike an iceberg -- marked "Kenyan Marxism," if I know Benson -- and then sink, killing a disproportionate number of the poor and unconnected and creating fodder for sentimental claptrap for at least the next century.

But Benson is particularly upset that rich people are being asked to pay more for their fancy accommodations on board that ship, which makes me think she hasn't thought through her metaphor quite as much as she should.

But Won't He Be Forced to Carry It To Full Term?

Ken Catalino, 4/11/12:

Our President is man-pregnant after having sex with the Lord of Darkness.

Just back away slowly, and try not to make eye contact....

Oh, a Wise Guy, Eh!

Now, this is a much more unlikely pairing, but, still, it's two cartoons with exactly the same joke, from Bruce Plante:

and Richard Bartholomew:

By the way, Uncle Sam in Plante's cartoon really should be saying "Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk."