The Obligatory "Everyone Who Disagrees With My Religion Will Be Tormented Eternally" Round-Up

Let's see who felt the urge to avoid actual work and instead signpost their mainstream, unsurprising religious views this weekend, shall we?

First up is Gary Varvel's 4/8/12 cartoon:

Which implicitly threatens the rest of the world with death. Classy!

And then there's Randy Bish's cartoon for the same day:

This one takes the same imagery, shows it twice for added boredom, and then throws in a pop-culture reference so stale that only an editorial cartoonist would attempt it!


Ed Gamble, also on 4/8/12:

He takes the bold step of simply stating his religious doctrine baldly, without any commentary and barely a stab at passable art. But Ed's a Christian in a majority-Christian society, so he gets to count the time he spent on this -- both minutes -- as work!

Tim Hartman's Easter Sunday cartoon

uses the same (tired, bland, sectarian) text and at least tries to re-link it to spring, rebirth, and (implicitly) all of those old spring festivals that the early Church stole from to begin with.

A day earlier -- note that, since it makes the whole point of the cartoon moot -- Joe Heller gave us this:

A poignant rewrite of the old Pennsylvania Dutch proverb "Kissing don't last; Cooking does;" Heller contrasts the candy his readers hadn't gotten yet when they saw this cartoon with the eternal damnation he knows is in store for them if they don't knuckle under to whichever particular denomination of American Christianity he's sure is the Only True Religion.

Rick McKee took his Friday cartoon (4/6)

to wish his co-religionists a happy holiday. He, too, got to count a greeting card as his work for the day. Nice work if you can get it.


Bill Day, even earlier than that (4/5) had this

horrifying vision of the Great Bird of the Galaxy hatching out of the shell of the earth. Either Day doesn't actually know how shells work, or he hopes that his little peace symbol will make everything OK. Either way, it's pretty creepy.

And, finally, Steve Breen actually understands the concept of an editorial cartoon, using the seasonal theme to actually make a comment on something else:

Everyone else, take a close look at this one -- we'll be checking to see if you learned it when Christmas rolls around.


(And, no, I didn't see a single Passover cartoon. Of course, only the hegemonic religion can be allowed this degree of flabbiness.)

Update:

Hey! Here's another actual editorial cartoon on an Easter theme, from Gary McCoy on 4/7:

It's paint-by-numbers and pretty dull, but it shines in this horrible company!

Update 2:
Glenn McCoy took the weekend off, but came back on Monday (4/9)

to point out that he, too, is a white Christian male (like Jesus!) and that he'd like the opportunity to avoid real work for another day.