Adam Zyglis, 4/15/12:
The social "safety net" -- the metaphor of the social programs benefiting the poor, such as food stamps, housing aid, and direct cash payments -- is an actual net, which Congressman Paul Ryan has recently realized could be put to a more capitalistically beneficial use, such as catching fish.
This, sadly, has bad consequences for the poor, who are balding men falling from a great height into the sea -- not women or children, as one might expect, since they're the vast majority of recipients of these programs -- who will now drown in the waters of...now, what would the water be in this metaphor? The economy in general?
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